How do you solve a problem like Number Fooooooo-uuuuuuurrrrrr?

The high school is putting on a production of the Sound of Music this weekend, and Number 3 and 4 are in the children’s ensemble.

I have been seriously disorganized in the SOM department.

To spare you the boring details and to make a long story short, let’s just say I have been less than on top of things, late or showing up on the wrong night for rehearsals, and missing a lot of important information.

So yesterday, as usual, I was scrambling to find a costume for each kid to wear (we had to provide the clothes for the ensemble kids).

I managed to scrape something acceptable together from the list of suggested clothing for Number 3 — khaki shorts, dark knee socks, and a dark, collared shirt.

Number 4 happened to be in the right place at the right time at the last rehearsal.

A woman whose granddaughter is in the play had about 4 authentic German dresses in just the right size for Number 4. She told Number 4 she could borrow one of them, and she was going to give it to us at last night’s rehearsal.

So the only thing I had to provide for Number 4 was white tights.

Which we couldn’t find.

She found some old, very pale pink ballet tights about 3 minutes before we ran out the door to get to swim practice.

They were Number 5’s and they had a good sized hole in the crotch. They would have to do.

It’s hard to tell from this picture, but when the tights are on, that hole is stretched out pretty big. Like to the size of a baseball.

But the dress would cover that, so they would work fine.

Last night we had to rush directly from the pool to the high school for the first dress rehearsal.

I told Number 4 to bring her tights to the pool and put them on in the locker room after practice. Then, when we got to the high school, she could put the dress on.

When practice was over, I told Number 3 and 4 to hurry up and get dressed. We had to leave in less than ten minutes.

I went out to the parking lot and pulled the car up to the front of the Y.

Number 3 was out in record time.

He got in the car and put on his seat belt.

We waited for Number 4.

She came running out about 2 minutes later.

She had her jacket on.

She had followed the directions and put her tights on too.

But that was it.

So she came running out of the Y in a winter jacket and a pair of sheer, very pale pink, crotchless tights.

There were quite a few people coming out of the Y along with her. Staring.

Number 3 almost had a heart attack.

“MOM! SHE’S NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!” he yelled.

“Um… where are your pants?” I asked her as she hopped into the car.

“They’re in my bag!” she said.

“Why aren’t you wearing them?” I asked.

“You only told me to put the tights on,” she answered.

“YOU CAN’T SHOW THE WHOLE WORLD YOUR VAGINA!!!” screamed Number 3.

“Oh…that’s why everyone was telling me to put something else on,” she said nonchalantly.

Number 3 looked like he was going to puke.

Number 4 couldn’t have cared less.

And I had one of the best laughs I’ve had in a long time.

I don’t think she’ll make that mistake again.

But just to be on the safe side, maybe I’ll buy some new tights today.

 

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