Headphones

Even though there are less than seven years separating my youngest and my oldest, I still look at Kristofer and Ingrid as the older kids and Gretchen, Kasen and Marit as the little guys.

None of them are little anymore.

Especially Kasen, who is closing in on his 13th birthday.

Kasen is five years younger than Kristofer, so I’ve always thought of him as, well… my little guy.

I remember many, many times looking at Kristofer and thinking to myself, I cannot imagine Kasen being this age.

In my mind he’s still that sensitive little boy.

Carrying his blankie with him wherever he goes.

Needing a little reassurance and an extra hug when he’s in unfamiliar situations.

He’ll be taller than me by summer.

And when I wasn’t paying attention, he slid right into the next stage of life.

A couple weeks ago he used the money he’d been saving up to buy himself a pair of AirPods.

I was proud of him for saving his money and being patient.

But I forgot about what happens once headphones enter the picture.

Tonight I picked Kasen up from swim practice and we talked for a little bit.

Then he took his AirPods out of the case and said, “I’m listening to music now so I won’t hear you or talk to you,” as he put them into his ears and checked out.

Just like that.

Damn you headphones.

I got a little bit sad for a second, and then I remembered back to when I was his age.

I had my bright yellow Sony Sports Walkman and headphones with the stretchy foam ear cushions and I tuned out the world (and my parents) for hours and hours and hours listening to music.

After we got home I was in the kitchen making dinner and Kasen came over and gave me a hug.

“Thanks for being my mom,” he said to me, out of nowhere.

Maybe he sensed I needed a little reminder that while I might always think of him this way..

he’ll always think of me this way, too.