Grease is the word.

I love Memorial Day weekend.

Because I love summer.

And I mean LOVE.

With a capital L-O-V-E.

And Memorial Day weekend is when the pool opens up.

Which, to me, equals summer.

My first real job was working as a lifegaurd and swim coach at the Weston Field Club.

I loved that job.

We never had the money to belong to a country club.

I always fantasized about being able to go there every day in the summer when I was a kid.

Since that wasn’t going to happen, working there was fulfilling a little bit of that dream.

If you can’t beat em, join em.

And if you can’t join em,

well,

work for them.

So anyway, working at the WFC started a 15 year string of country club summer jobs for me.

After I graduated from college, I stayed in Pennsylvania, and worked every summer at Lehigh Valley Country Club.

LVCC.

I loved that place too.

And then, after moving back to Connecticut, I worked at WeeBurn Country Club.

No matter what country club you belong to, they all have on thing in common.

A big, Family Fun Day.

It’s kind of hell for the staff.

But the members love it.

Some places have this big extravaganza on Memorial Day.

Others do it around Father’s Day.

Some hold theirs on the 4th of July.

No matter when they hold it, all country clubs do at least some of the same kinds of games.

Water balloon toss…

Relay races…

Belly Flop contest…

And, just as in every other aspect of life,

there are activities they used to do,

that have since been banned.

Because they aren’t safe.

You know,

back in the day when you rode your bike without a helmet.

And drove in the car without a seatbelt.

And jumped off the high dive.

I know.

Now we know better.

The helmet and seat belts are no brainers.

But I sure do miss the good old days of the high dive.

And the greased watermelon.

That started out as a fun kid game.

But each year, it became increasingly rough.

Until it basically turned into a bunch of drunk dads beating the shit out of each other.

Like this:

Not very safe.

But very fun to watch.

So,

with the onset of Memorial Day weekend upon us, Number 5 and 6 must have sensed my nostalgia.

I had forgotten all about the greased watermelon.

Until yesterday.

Number 5 and 6 added their own spin to it.

They waited until I cut one in half.

And then when I got distracted and left the kitchen,

they seized the opportunity.

Carpe diem.

Actually,

carpe melon.

And carpe Land-0-Lakes.

The only thing worse than a greased watermelon is,

a greased half-watermelon.

In your living room.

That shit is juicy.

It didn’t photograph well.

So you’ll have to use your imagination.

And have a great Memorial Day Weekend 🙂

PLEASE TAKE ONE SECOND TO VOTE FOR ME!!!

All you need to do is click on the banner above to register a vote for me! 

You can vote one time every 24 hours from every computer and cell phone! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!! I really appreciate your support!

Check out and “like” the not-your-average-mom.com facebook page!

Follow me on Twitter @mom_not_average