Get In Touch With Your Inner Potty Mouth

I’ve been told I’ve inspired people to start exercising, to lose weight, to get organized, to spend more time with their kids, to have more sex with their husbands, and lots of other things.

And all of that feels good.

Really good…

A couple months ago I wrote a post where I declared that I was going to try and clean up my language.

I think I lasted about half a day.

I don’t really care.

As much as I’d like to be classy and all G-rated, internally, I’m just rated R.

There’s no getting around it.

Sometimes I have days where I just have to let out a bunch of fucks.

Other days, a simple shit will suffice.

Those days where a blog post is riddled with profanity might be the result of a long stretch of time alone with the kids where I really have to censor myself for hours upon hours.

At some point,

well,

she’s gonna blow.

So, anyway, yesterday I got a message from a friend.

This friend is pretty much the polar opposite of me.

At least in the language department.

I have never heard her swear.

Ever.

I have also never seen her ingest a single drop of alcohol.

She is one of those people who will do the right thing, even when no one is watching.

Very admirable.

But she’s not a priss, either.

My language and behavior don’t offend her.

Which, in my book, makes her even more admirable.

So back to the message from this friend.

Here is what it said:

I thought of you yesterday. A parent at school was totally out-of-line and real jerk to me on the phone (that’s NOT the part that made me think of you!). After I hung up with her, I was livid. I stomped into the teacher’s room and found a couple of my colleagues and I said, “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT WOMAN! SHE IS A TOTAL FUCKING BITCH!”.

My teacher friends had their mouths on the floor and were in complete shock. I have never let the f-bomb drop before and they couldn’t believe I used such language as they have never even heard me say the word “stupid”. I was thinking how you’re trying to clean up your mouth and my goal is to just let it out! So, I succeeded in my goal…at least for yesterday. And today…I was the talk of the teacher’s room! No one believed that stuff came out of my mouth!

I was kind of proud of myself, actually. It was very freeing!

Hope you’re doing just as well on the other end of the continuum. Teaching fucking sucks and these parents can totally go fuck themselves!!!!

Like I said before, I have been told I’ve inspired people to do many things.

But being the inspiration for someone to let their inner potty mouth come out?

Well, that might just be my favorite.

Now have a great fucking day.

And the next time you see a teacher,

be fucking nice to her.

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