Five Months

I haven’t had any booze in five months.

FIVE MONTHS.

I’ve made it through the 4th of July and Labor Day and my birthday and my anniversary and Halloween and Thanksgiving.

I’ve made it through other things, but that’s because I’ve just chosen not to attend them.

Tonight all my favorite baseball moms are having a Mom’s Night at one of their houses.

There have been a few of these nights since I quit drinking, and I haven’t gone to any of them yet.

I’m just not ready.

I’m not ready to hang out with the friends I used to drink multiple glasses of wine with. I’m not ready to join them and be sober.

It helps that I have to be at a swim meet at 6:15 tomorrow morning. I just can’t do a late night when I have such an early morning the next day.

I’m sad to be missing these nights.

But I don’t wanna flush  151 days of progress down the toilet.

I’ve had  151 days without a hangover.

I’ve had  151 mornings where I remember every single thing I did the night before.

I’ve had 151 days without any booze-related regrets.

I miss the mom’s nights out.

At some point I hope to feel strong and confident enough to hang out with my girls while most of them drink and I don’t.

But I’m not there yet.

So I’m gonna hold onto these 151 days of a clear head and no regrets.

And know that tomorrow that number will be up to 152.