Dear Michelle,
Thank you so much for your message in response to the post I wrote yesterday about the embarrassing incident I had at Costco .
Before I go on, I should probably share it so all of my readers can see what I’m talking about:
I’m sorry but why on earth would you have 7 kids and not be able to afford to give them the basic necessities like food. Your Costco sob story doesn’t make me feel sorry for. You should’ve thought about this before you popped out so many kids. I feel sick for those kids.
Oh, Michelle.
Thank you so much for your concern regarding my kids.
But they are fine.
Really.
Maybe you are right. Maybe I totally should have predicted the future. Maybe I should have known, when I popped out all my kids, that the housing market would crash, that the economy would tank, and that my husband would lose his business of over 25 years. I suppose I should have consulted my crystal ball to find out exactly when he would unexpectedly need to have total knee replacement surgery. I definitely should have predicted that a couple customers would stiff us out of over $30,000. There are lots of other unpredictable things I should have totally predicted.
How silly of me.
Thank you for setting me straight.
I will be sure to predict the rest of my future starting right now!
As for the rest of your message, don’t worry about my kids.
They are doing great.
They have a huge support system, which we didn’t have back when money wasn’t so tight.
And you know what I have been able to teach them in the past couple years?
I have taught them that being vulnerable is okay. In fact, it’s great!
I have taught them to ask for help when they need it.
I have taught them to accept help when it is offered and to help others when they are able to.
We have become a more mindful family.
We take better care of the planet.
We got rid of cable and don’t watch much television at all.
You know what else I’ve done since going through this financial shitstorm we are in?
I’ve stopped yelling at my kids.
I haven’t yelled at my kids in over 8 months!
I bet you can’t say that.
Sure, you may not have had the misfortune of falling on hard times, and you can pay for your groceries no problem.
But you know what?
Before you popped out your kids, you should have thought about the fact that you are a judgemental moron who has no idea what the fuck she is talking about.
Do you know what I did this past Monday?
While you were sitting on your ass in judgment, I ran the Boston Marathon.
And some of my kids were able to come watch.
We had one of the most amazing weekends we’ve ever had.
And I showed my kids that I am one tough motherfucker.
I showed them that even when times are tough, mentally, emotionally, physically, financially… that I am not going to stop.
Literally. I won’t stop.
That sometimes unfair things happen. Sometimes the unpredictable happens.
And rather than complain, rather than quit, rather than crumble, I am pushing through.
And they will have the skills to do the same.
Michelle. Your kids are watching you. And learning from you.
And while I am teaching my kids to be awesome, you are teaching your kids to be haters.
One day, when my kids are grown, they may meet someone who is in the same position we are in now.
Who knows. It could be your kids (although seeing as you can predict the future, you may already see this in your crystal ball).
Rather than insult them and judge them and leave a really douchey comment on a blog post for them, you know what my kids will do?
They will lend a non judgemental hand. They will help. They will offer support and understanding and compassion.
So yeah.
Don’t feel sick for my kids, Michelle.
Instead, I think you should probably feel sick for your own.
My mom used to judge me when we were on food stamps. My husband lost his job and our house burned down. We had nothing. But then her life fell apart and she ended up on food stamps when my dad left and refused to pay child support. My husband has a masters degree, I have a bachelors… my mom has no education and hasn’t had a job in 35 years. Now she knows just how hard it is to swallow your pride and sign up for food stamps. She now knows that a person on drugs cannot manage to jump through the obscene hoops to get on food stamps. She has been enlightened.
Totally agree. I have been helping my sil try to jump through all the hoops. I keep saying, how the hell could anyone get through all these hoops to get help if they didn’t need it! You need some serious commitment to get through it all, when you actually qualify!
How rude I have absolutely no time or patience for such ignorant jerky people, the sad thing is maybe her mother never taught her that a little empathy and manners go a long way, and sure seems her children aren’t learning any either if they are paying attention to the way she acts. maybe she has no idea how it feels to live through rough times but I’ll tell you what the givers no right whatsoever to make another human being feel so shifty. The good thing is you are very tough and while jabs like that do hurt you are able to quickly let it go and not let it get you down. Way to go on not only sharing your embarrassing moments(that most of us have had the to deal with also), but also on showing the rest of that even when life gets you down because of other people’s ignorance it is possible to do exactly that ignore the idiot.
Darn spell check messed up a few words loll…. oops sorry in advance 🙂
Yeah, girl! Tell it!
I didn’t like that comment either and I’m glad you addressed it instead of ignoring or deleting it. Shame on Michelle, That was just plain snotty and makes her sound stuck-up. I’m sure that’s not the way she wants her children to treat others at school, so why is it ok to treat someone so rudely on the Internet?
i love everything about this post–well, not the part where somebody forgot how to be a decent human being, but your response is amazing. I strive to teach my kids the same thing, I want to “literally not stop”. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability! It has been inspiring me to put myself out there and be brave…and to show my kids that I, too, am a bad motherfucker!
Fucking right on Susie. Call it like it is. Compassion over judgement.
I find people that lash out at others like that are usually insecure. They have yo beat others down in order yo build themselves up. That is a sad life.
Yes, those people are insecure and don’t know how to show empathy.
There is nothing wrong with using public assistance while you get back to your feet. I feel very sorry for her, having an ugly inner conscience can make life difficult. Hopefully, her children have better role models around.
I’m constantly amazed that mothers spend so much time and effort judging each other when that energy could be better spent building each other up. I’m sorry you had to get that comment, but proud of your classy response. You didn’t go down to her level.
What an awesome article, way to set Michelle straight! Love your blog, keep doing what you’re doing! You are such an inspiration. XX
PERFECT response!
How are you always so awesome?!? Very impressed with your reply.
Right on!
If you could see me, you would see a standing ovation with tears on my cheeks. Your kids are lucky to have such a strong role model. You just keep doing what you are doing!
I wish I could respond to haters like you. Perfect response!!! Loved it!
The perfect response!
Have you ever thought of writing a book? Glad you were able to respond in a positive way – sometimes encountering opposition only makes us affirm to our beliefs and come out stronger meaning it sometimes takes those haters to make you really think about the good and put it into perspective hold it closer