If you’ve been around here a while,
you know I like to watch the Food Network.
You know that Giada and her clean kitchen and her awesome cleavage really annoy me.
You know that when Ina Garten says to use “really good vanilla” I find it extremely pretentious.
You know that I don’t think the Pioneer Woman is any sort of pioneer in her bazillion dollar ranch house.
But I still like to watch them.
I was kind of on the fence about Paula Deen.
Until recently.
She sucks.
I don’t know if you’ve heard the recent scandal.
She used some sort of racial slur. I don’t even know what she said.
But that’s not why I think she sucks.
I don’t particularly think she’s a racist.
But I just caught an excerpt from her “apology.”
Which was the biggest load of crap I’ve ever heard.
Paula, stick to cooking.
Acting ain’t your thing.
If you’re gonna pretend to cry,
chop an onion first.
And get rid of your pink onion glasses.
Shed some fake tears, for crying out loud.
Or,
repeat after me.
I fucked up.
Plain and simple.
I feel like shit.
And it won’t happen again.
Take some responsibility, Woman.
That’s much more attractive than this:
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