Cotton. The fabric of our lives. Or not.

A couple days ago as I was scrolling through facebook,

I saw that a friend had commented on an article.

The title of the article was

10 Reasons to Stop Cotton Wool Parenting.

Wait.

What?

What the fuck is cotton wool parenting?

Was that a joke?

Was it some fake article from the Onion?

I know about helicopter moms.

And soccer moms.

And tiger moms.

I’ve heard of natural parenting.

Attachment parenting.

But cotton wool parenting?

Is there really such a thing?

So I Googled it.

Yup.

It’s real.

I guess cotton wool parenting is being overprotective.

Projecting your worries and anxieties onto your kids for fear of something bad happening to them.

Not allowing them walk down the street alone in anticipation of them being abducted.

I’d call it bubble wrap parenting.

I get the worrying.

I really do.

Once you give birth, two things escalate to levels you never even knew existed.

First, you fall more deeply in love with this little person than you ever imagined was humanly possible.

You are overflowing with indescribable and unparalleled amounts of affection.

But then there is the second thing.

The worry.

Who the hell knew there were so many things to worry about?

That shit can eat you up.

Am I feeding her enough?

Am I strict enough?

Am I doing this the right way?

Am I doing that the right way?

When is she supposed to do this?

Is he supposed to be doing that?

Why isn’t she walking?

Why isn’t he talking?

Why isn’t she reading? And writing? And using scissors properly?

When does he need to know his colors? Everything is “blue!”

He hasn’t pooped in 4 days? DOES HE NEED SURGERY???

It can be exhausting.

I think we all start out overprotective with that first one.

Then you get a little bit better with each consecutive kid.

But it’s easy to let yourself get consumed by the what ifs.

And I think that can mess a kid up.

So can all these names for everything.

Why not just Use Some Common Sense Parenting?

You can’t control everything; you can’t control what other people are going to do.

But you can control what you teach your kids.

How about teaching them right from wrong?

And to be kind.

And honest.

Say please and thank you.

If you fuck up, you’re going to get in trouble.

And if you lie about it,

you’re going to get in more trouble.

How about telling your kids they did a good job, um,

only when they really did a good job?

And how about giving your kids the tools to navigate life, guiding them, and then after some practice, letting them do it on their own.

How about letting them fail once or twice?

And letting them learn from a mistake or two?

You know, like they’ll have to do once they turn 18.

I don’t like how fast my kids are growing up.

I don’t like that I already embarrass Number 3 and he’s only 8.

But I sure as hell don’t want seven wimpy, anxiety-ridden, entitled forty-somethings living in my house either.

And I’m not going to try to find a way to come up with tens of thousands of dollars and send a kid off to college unless I’m fairly sure my investment is going to pay off.

I need to get them ready to survive.

And be successful.

Keeping them super sheltered and hidden from life’s difficulties isn’t going to get that done.

I’ll let them eat some dirt. They’ll survive.

 

I’ll let them jump on some beds and

take a few risks.

Because after all, I have a bigger goal in mind.

In forty or fifty years, one of them is gonna have to take care of me, and I don’t want some wuss in charge of that.

And let’s be honest.

Chances are, I’m going to be a handful.

Nope.

No cotton wool for these kids.

I’ll stick with common sense.

PLEASE TAKE ONE SECOND TO VOTE FOR ME!!!