My husband says I’m kind of a contradiction.
Because in some areas of my life, I’m an it’s-better-to-ask-for-forgiveness-than-permission kind of a girl.
My last year of teaching, I had a Bring Your Pet to School Day.
I arranged for it to be outside in the upper parking lot behind the school.
I didn’t mention it to my principal because I knew what she would say.
But I did run it by all the parents to make sure none of them had a problem with it.
Looking back, I’m not sure how I actually pulled it off.
Kids brought dogs.
A ferret.
A tortoise.
And one kid’s mom brought a fucking horse.
It was awesome.
But it was totally against the rules.
So there’s that side of me.
But then the other side is 100% by the books.
Especially when it comes to sports.
I just don’t cheat.
I never take a mulligan in golf.
If I lose track and can’t remember if I’ve swum 8 or 10 laps, I always choose 8.
I’ve always been that way.
Which brings me to my point.
This is going to take a little explanation, so bear with me.
There are 2 YMCA’s involved in the Lose to Win program –the one that I belong to, and another one in a neighboring town.
I’ll call that one YMCA “B”.
After week 3, I was in first place in the “laps swum” category by 174 laps.
A lot, right?
I kind of figured I had that category clinched.
And then boom.
Out of nowhere, some chick not only catches up to me, but passes me.
After week 4, she was ahead of me by almost 80 laps.
That’s a lot.
It seemed a little fishy to me.
I went back and forth…
Do I question that? Or do I just keep my mouth shut, deal with it, and catch up?
After a couple days of deliberating, I decided to send an email to the women in charge of the program. After all, this person had gone from 300 laps in the first 3 weeks combined, to 685 laps after week 4.
And that was during the week we had the blizzard, and the Y was closed for 2 days.
One of the program directors promptly looked into the matter.
Everything seemed to be on the up and up.
But there is still one major difference.
The new leader has been swimming at Y “B”.
And that pool is shorter than the pool at my Y.
I pointed that out to the program directors.
At this point, I know I was starting to piss them off, because I got this response to my email:
“…The difference between the pools is 5 yards. The core values of the YMCA is honesty, respect, responsibility and caring….”
Well, that kind of put me over the edge, that patronizing “the difference is 5 yards.”
Like it’s nothing.
It’s not nothing.
Although I am 77 laps behind this person, I have actually swum 1 1/2 miles more than her.
That’s a lot more than nothing.
And that brings me back to that second line in her email.
The core values of the YMCA are honesty, respect, responsibility and caring.
I know what the values are supposed to be.
But last week, someone stole my fucking shampoo and conditioner from the locker room.
For the second time in a month.
Honesty.
Yeah, right.
I mean, Lance Armstrong also claimed to be honest.
So anyway…
I’m pissed.
At this point it doesn’t look like the Y, with its core values of honesty, respect, responsibility, and caring is going to do anything.
So I will.
I set out to win that category, and I’m going to do it.
Fair and square.
Whatever it takes.
In a real pool.
I’m no girl scout.
I’ve done a lot of shit I’m not proud of.
I told you how I lied in high school.
I’ve also done drugs.
I’ve cheated on boyfriends.
It’s taken me over 40 years to get my shit together.
So I’m not claiming perfection.
But I am claiming to demonstrate the core values of the Y.
And with respect to this matter, I hope at some point they do the same.
For now, I gotta go.
I’ve got some laps to make up 🙂
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Hi Susie! I am exactly like you when it comes to being by the book and totally honest. So is my husband. We promised each other we would never tell a lie to one another (having both of us being married once before to incredible lying, cheating asswipes). Almost twenty eight years later, we never have told a lie to one another. I always look at being honest like this: I am not rich. Lord knows I’m not super great looking and all I have going for me is my honesty. I have been interrigated at work or with a group of friends in the past over whatever kind of honesty issue and I have always answered with the truth. If it is pursued I tell whomever it is doing the accusing that my honesty is not to be questioned as I do not lie. EVER. So that’s that. I must add people either love me or hate me. Rarely is there an in between!! So you go on with your bad self sista and do your laps and kick that persons ass in the shorter poo;! You know who the real winner is.. YOU ROCK!!