Number 2 is 13 years old, and he’ll be a freshman in high school next year.
He’s an excellent student, a good athlete, a great dancer, he’s very creative, and he’s musically talented.
He’s conscientious.
Dependable.
Responsible.
An overall good kid.
He wasn’t always that way; he and Number 4 have some similar personality traits.
When he was little, he gave us a run for our money. In fact up until about 2 years ago, we had our hands full with him.
But we stayed consistent.
My husband heard someone use an analogy about raising children and a funnel.
When they’re younger, you keep the hold on them tight.
The amount of slack you give them is small.
Like the bottom of the funnel.
As the kids grow older,
and mature,
and prove that they are responsible,
you loosen your grip.
The mouth of the funnel gets bigger.
Their independence, freedom, and opportunity becomes wider.
Number 2 is getting close to the top of that funnel.
He consistently shows us that we can trust him.
When confronted with a questionable situation, he has repeatedly demonstrated that he is going to make the wise, healthy decision.
Which is just about the ultimate success story when you are a parent.
Number 2 also loves his money.
He’s pretty responsible with that too.
Maybe a little too repsonsible.
It pretty much kills him to spend it.
Since he’s only 13, he can’t get a “real” job, but he will do just about anything to make a buck.
Miss P, our favorite bus driver, goes camping sometimes on the weekends.
So he has started dog sitting for her.
And we’ve also set him up with a neighbor two houses down who was looking for a young kid to help her with some yard work. He goes to her house twice a week.
So I’ve been talking to him about what makes a good employee.
And I’m trying to teach him the value of communication.
When he’s dog sitting, I told him he should leave a note for Miss P when she comes home, so that she knows when the dogs were last taken out, when they last ate, and just how things went overall.
That he needs to let our neighbor know the times he is available, and schedule when he is going to work for her.
Himself.
Teaching him how to make a phone call has been harder than anything…
I have realized that this kid has no idea how to use the phone to actually speak with someone.
Or to leave a message.
The other day I forced Number 2 to call a friend himself, rather than me calling the mother.
He looked at me with a look of terror on his face.
When his friend answered the phone, there was no “Hello” from Number 2.
No, “Hey Billy, this is Number 2.”
He just launched right into “Do you want to go to the Y?”
What the hell?
Our really smart, really responsible kid has no idea how to make a fucking phone call.
Damn you, texting.
And facebook.
So, we are working on that.
Because I am trying to teach Number 2 that if he wants to go into business for himself,
because he’s got that entrepreneur mindset,
he’s gonna need to use that phone.
With some etiquette.
He’s going to need to take the initiative.
I’m also trying to teach him that,
just like him,
adults don’t especially like spending their money.
It can be painful.
And that people feel better about handing over their hard earned cash to someone when that person does a really good job.
When they pay attention to detail.
When they go above and beyond.
All those effort and behaviors that affect learning sections of the report card are what people really value.
Last night we were driving home from the Y and we passed the neighbor’s house.
He pointed out the row of hedges in her front yard that he had trimmed.
“I even raked them,” he told me.
“Good for you,” I said.
“Above and beyond. That’s what gets you hired back,”I reiterated.
“And did you see how straight the tops are?” he asked, proudly.
“Yeah. They look great,” I said.
“I used a ruler to cut them.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
I wish I had been driving by her house then.
So, it seems he has the attention to detail part under control.
I guess we’ll keep the focus on those phone calls 😉
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It sure sounds like you’ve got a really great kid there. Kudos to you for teaching and showing him how to be that great kid that he is!
Thank you, Lori.
So far, so good 😉
I agree…sounds like a good kid.
You can practice with him on the phone. If you have a cell and a house phone (or two cells) you can call him and have him call you. Or make him answer the phone every time a call comes in.
I HATED calling to order pizza when I babysat….it pained me to no end (I didnt like talking to people I didn’t know). I would even bribe the kids I was babysitting to call the pizza place for me (“here kid…I know your mom said don’t talk to strangers but YOU talk to the strangers because I don’t want to. Don’t tell your mom and I’ll let you stay up an extra hour. I don’t care that you are 6….I’ll tell you what to say”….not shockingly the pizza place always called back to confirm…..
Ive gotten better….but not much. I still try to get my husband to call if we are ordering carryout. 90% of the time he refuses because he knows why I want him to call.
I reeeeeeallly, really wish I had the whole saving money thing down. Sounds like a wonderful kid!
I am going to need lessons from you in a few years, but I love the funnel analogy – really helpful and really accurate. My parents never let me get past the skinny part of the funnel, even though I was the most trustworthy kid and it led to a difficult relationship over time. You are so right about the phone, though, no one in my office that is younger than me wants to use it! Thank you so much!
He sounds like a great kid. It is wonderful that he takes pride in his work.
I never liked to talk on the phone as a kid and I still don’t. I am not a chatty person, so it is very hard for me. I used to get so nervous that I would talk very fast and mumble. Even now at work, I think about what I am going to say to a customer in my head before I pick up the phone. I always tell myself…it is just another person on the phone. I think if I had texting and email as a teenager, I would be in worse shape.
Deanna had a good suggestion…practice with him on the cell phone.