It is becoming obvious that each of my children was put on this planet to point out my faults.
No wonder why I have so many kids.
It’s like that movie Se7en with Brad Pitt where a serial killer chooses his victims based on the 7 deadly sins.
Number 3’s focus is clearly communication.
I guess his teacher has really been driving home the election.
A couple weeks ago he came home and asked me, “Mom, what’s a debate?”
So I explained it the way any responsible parent would to their 7-year-old.
“A debate is a big waste of time.”
Of course I was joking.
Okay, not really.
But he didn’t really pick up on the sarcasm.
And I’m guessing his teacher didn’t either.
Yesterday he let me know he passed that little exchange along to her.
“You told her I said that?” I asked.
Okay, I mean, I semi-yelled, my voice shrill and shaky.
“Yeah Mom. Don’t you know I’m a really good listener? I listen to everything you say. Like everything.”
Ugh. Great.
Point taken.
But at least he’s an equal opportunity fault finder.
My husband used to be a model. If you read this post, then you already know that.
Anyway, he did a lot of work in Europe when he first started. One of his shoots was in Greece, and he stayed in a pretty cool hotel which was built into the side of a volcano for about a week.
He was describing something along the lines of this to Number 3:
Well, he thought he was describing that.
But this is what Number 3 heard:
So a couple weeks ago he came home from school and was eating his snack.
My husband asked him how his day was.
“Not good,” replied Number 4.
“Dad, I told my friend that you lived in a volcano for a week, but he didn’t believe me. Didn’t you live in a volcano? You told me you lived in a volcano!”
Maybe Number 3 is not an auditory learner. From now on we’ll be sure to incorporate visual aids into all our discussions…
But this one is even better.
My husband and Number 3 were, for some reason unknown to me, discussing dreadlocks.
According to my husband, he had a friend in college who had dreadlocks, and the guy didn’t ever wash them because “washing them ruins them.” Oh, and dreadlocks originated in Jamaica.
I do believe my husband may have slightly misinformed Number 3.
But anyway, dreadlocks, according to Number 3, as told to me yesterday morning:
“Mom. African Americans don’t take showers or wash their hair, and that’s why they have dreadlocks.”
Oh.
My.
God.
Don’t worry. I think we straightened that one out.
Well, I hope we did.
At least before he had an opportunity to “educate” his friends.
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