I’m just a girl writing a blog.
A girl, with a bunch of kids, writing a blog.
A girl, with a bunch of kids, whom she loves very much, writing a blog.
But I am also a girl, with a bunch of kids, whom she sometimes wants to lock in a closet.
Or wrap in duct tape and attach to a wall.
Even though she loves them very much. Even though she loves being a mom very much.
I am a girl with a bunch of kids, who would go to the end of the Earth and back,
an infinite number of times,
for her children.
But that doesn’t mean my kids don’t piss me off, and it doesn’t mean there are parts of being a mom that I detest.
To the point that I need to use the f-word.
Repeatedly.
Like yesterday, when I wrote about my frustrations over potty training Number 6.
And if you want to tell me that I shouldn’t have kids because of that,
well,
you suck.
Let me point something out to all you Judge Judy’s out there…
When you leave a comment on a facebook page,
a comment like,
Get over it and don’t talk about your children that way. If you didn’t think you could potty train, then you shouldn’t have had a child,
well,
people will click on your name.
They will go through all your pictures.
They will click
and click
and click
and click
until they find something.
I know because I’ve done it.
I know because readers have done it too.
They have told me.
They are watching you.
All of you.
Now your douchey, insensitive, ignorant comments don’t really bother me.
I’m 44.
I’m a seasoned mom.
And a pretty good one.
Not perfect,
but a good fucking mom.
Yeah.
I said fucking.
Again.
But you know what?
There are other moms out there who are struggling.
Struggling with breast feeding.
Struggling with potty training.
With getting their kids to sleep through the night.
Or taking a nap.
Struggling with kids who refuse to eat a vegetable.
Or do their homework.
Struggling with separation anxiety.
Balancing compassion and caring with discipline and structure.
They worry about almost every move they make.
They beat themselves up.
Silently.
And they start to go crazy.
And you know why?
Because of judgemental people like you.
Your judgemental and shitty comments really fuck those moms up.
So,
Judge Judy,
shame on you.
Now.
Back to your pictures.
I see you spend a decent amount of time at church.
I’m not really a church going girl.
Say what you want about that.
I certainly don’t have all ten of the commandments memorized.
But I’m pretty sure none of them say,
Thou shalt not use the word fuck when your kid shits in his pants, every day.
I’m pretty sure none of them say,
Thou shalt not have kids unless you are going to totally enjoy every single aspect of having children.
But I do know that somewhere in the Bible is this quote:
Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.
And this one:
Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.
And this one:
And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
Judge Judy.
If you are not going to follow the teachings of the church, then maybe you shouldn’t go to church.
Or teach vacation Bible school.
How about that?
But it’s not just that.
Your facebook pictures.
Back to those.
I really wanted you to not be a mom.
To have left that comment out of complete and total ignorance.
Then maybe I could have cut you a tiny break.
But I kept clicking on those pictures.
Until I found one with a caption that said,
my boy.
He appears to be all grown up.
And that is what pushed me over the edge.
Mothers with grown up kids who seem to have forgotten.
Forgotten that sometimes,
you want to strangle your kids.
Sometimes, you don’t know if you are going to be able to do it for one more day.
Sometimes,
after cleaning up the 437th pair of shit-filled, big-boy underpants,
you
just
lose
it.
Sometimes, all you want is to get the fuck away from your kids.
How did you forget that, Judge Judy?
How did you forget that feeling of hopelessness?
To the point that you want to pull your own hair out?
That need for a break? You never needed one of those?
Wanting a time out doesn’t make you a bad mom, Judge Judy.
It makes you an honest one.
And it makes you human.
So, in response to your comment,
Okay.
I’ll get over it.
But how about YOU get over YOURSELF.
And if you don’t like the words you saw on my blog,
well,
then maybe you shouldn’t have read them. 😀
VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!!!
All you need to do is click on the banner above to register a vote for me!
You can vote one time every 24 hours from every computer and cell phone! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!! I really appreciate your support!
Check out and “like” the not-your-average-mom.com facebook page!
Follow me on Twitter @mom_not_average
You are amazing! I’m sure I say this for so many of our fellow mothers….the word “fuck” & feeling frustrated are 2 constants in our daily mothering lives. Let the haters hate & stay your amazing fucking self!
I thought the same thing! Why do you feel the need to spread negativity to others? Because you are such a wonderful person? Not so much. Your shit post came to me at the perfect time. I have only a number one but we are struggling mighty with the poo. love your blog keep up the good honest and hilarious writing.
I love you.
BRAVO SUSIE!!
Too bad you can’t block certain people from seeing your blog. I look forward to reading it every day, and guess what…..there are still days that my kids drive me nuts(and they’re all “grown-up”)
Well said Susie!!!!
Oh Susie. this really saddens me. It really saddens me that people (and even more so, “church” people) feel like it is ok to judge others.
I have had people pulling out of the church parking lot waving their hands at me and yelling because I went the wrong way in their parking lot when visiting their church..and that just makes me think, were you not listening while you were in church? No, we didn’t go back to that church but we do attend one that we really like.
I am a “church” people. have been my whole life and I like it..but it REALLY breaks my heart that anyone would come on your blog and judge you. There is also a verse in the Bible about not causing a brother to stumble and by Judge Judy “judging” you she could keep you from finding a church to give your children a chance to experience church,as you mentioned in one of your blogs. That would be SOOOO much worse than you talking about the frustrations of potty training.What in the world is wrong with that??? It is actually helpful to other mothers experiencing the same thing..
One more thing…I YELLLED at my son (I will not tell you how old he was. Don’t want to discourage you) in my frustration over his NOT poo ing in the potty. Told him fine…I give up…he could go off to college and still poo in his pants..I was D.O.N.E. !!! He is in college now and has been poo ing in the potty for several years now!!
The Doctor said his was a case of control. That was the one thing in his life he could control. We told him when to go to bed, when to get up, when to eat, when he could watch tv…whatever…he could just NOT go for several days and then he couldn’t hold it anymore…probably TMI (too much information) but might help someone…
Sorry this is so long…
Thank you Renee. You have been here from the very beginning. I appreciate your comments. A lot.
And I think you know by now that there is never too much information for me 😉
Susie, you’re one of the bravest people I know. You tell it like it is, and that makes people nervous, because it makes them look at their own faults. They then lash out at you because it makes them feel better about themselves. I wouldn’t give comments from readers like her a minute of your time. A quote/conversation from one of my favorite movies, Harriet the Spy:
Gollie: You’re an individual and you know something, that makes people nervous, and it’s gonna keep making people nervous your whole life.
Harriet: My whole life? What do I do?
Gollie: You stay true to Harriet and you accept the cost.
So, Susie, “stay true to Susie and accept the cost.” Don’t bother looking at their Facebook pages. That’s your precious time, girl. Onward. xoxo
Wow. I’m so sorry that you felt judged. what is it about mom’s and judginess? like if another mom picks a different way of doing things they are, at their core, spitting in the face of all of your parenting decisions. I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works but when I tell people about my parenting style that’s the look I get in response sometimes. If she only has one kid it’s likely she doesn’t understand. I only have one kid and she’s the easiest little kid ever. she still stresses me out sometimes and I vent my frustrations in my own way. I can’t say I never have used the f- word but I do really really really try not to. I don’t know how families with seven kids maintain their sanity. how do you have enough time to shower let alone write on this blog all the time? I doubt i’ll ever understand. i’m proud of myself right now for cleaning the livingroom and putting laundry away while taking care of my child and nursing my social media addiction. One kid seems hard and it maxes me out sometimes but i’m pregnant with my second right now and I guarantee i’m going to be in for it. I know i’ll think “how did I ever think I had it rough with one?” like I said… I can’t imagine caring for seven. i’m sorry that mom said those things, that was hurtful and internet hecklers are unfortunately abundant. don’t waste any of your precious brain space on people like that. you’re grown, you’re responsible… I salute you.
I’ve been reading your blog for some months now, today i’m having one of those days with my 1, 2 and 3… well… i would like to thank you for the post. It helps. A lot.
Well I love your posts especially the ones with fuck in them:-) I’m really glad that woman wasn’t in my house today when my 4 year old #3 said fucking! Didn’t make me feel like mom of the year but hearing him tell me later that I was the best mom ever for letting him ride the .50¢ helicoptor at Kmart sure did. We mess up a lot but we get even more right. It’s damn hard doing this mom thing everyday but those moments when they do the right thing wiyhput bwing told because we taught them to, makes it worth every minute of it.
I think that any mother (or father for that matter) that denies wanting to run away from home/lose their temper/lock themselves in a room/whatever…….is a liar or in deep denial. Any parent that judges another for wanting to do any of the above…..is a douche canoe.
d.o.u.c.h.e c.a.n.o.e
Douche canoe. That’s a new one.
Is that a Deanna original?
unfortunatly I cannot take credit for that one…..
Well said Susie!!!!
I read some blogs, yours included. When I stumble upon a blog that turns me off, that rubs me the wrong way … I DON’T read it anymore. It is amazing to me that people continue to read something that they whole heartedly disagree with and then take the time to comment on it. I am a busy mom … I don’t have time to spend reading things I don’t enjoy or agree with. It will always amaze me that people have time for that kind of negativity and that they welcome it into their day. Judge Judy … aren’t there some blogs that you can read that you DO agree with?
Yeah.
What you said.
AMEN Susie!!!!
Just want to say THANK YOU for this post, and one can only hope it gets some people to THINK and have some EMPATHY and UNDERSTANDING. I may not be a perfect mom & say all the right things to my kids & do all the right things with my kids, but I am doing my damnest to teach them THOSE THINGS so they don’t go around JUDGING people. They don’t need church for that, BTW.
You are doing a great job! Potty training sucks! Just last year I was losing it while potty training my 3 year old, while my 5 year old decided it would be a good time to regress with his potty habits!
Hang in there!
I just wanted to tell you how amazing I think you are and how much I LOVE reading your blogs!!!! I don’t ever comment on things but I don’t know I just felt the need to today! I started following you when one of my friends on Facebook shared the link of your blog about summer school work…she wasn’t vey happy about it but I on the other hand loved it and agreed wholeheartedly with it! I have 4 kids and I would love more and it amazes me often how many times I hear “wow 4 kids, you’re crazy” or “you’re done now right” like seriously how do people feel like they have the right to comment to me about things like that!?! My husband works hard to take care of us financially and I work hard to take care of us on the home front and my kids are well taken care of, smart and polite! People just amaze me and I applaud you for standing up to it!!!!
2 years later and I really needed to read this today. I just YELLED at my 2-year-old son because he would not stop screaming at me for taking my phone away from him (that he didn’t have permission to have) and then for biting me when I started changing the pee sheets on his bed and then for biting me again when I told him there was no more string cheese for a snack. On top of that I’m 33 weeks pregnant and actually mad that the baby has hiccups while I’m going through all of the above because they feel like someone won’t stop poking me. I love my kids more than anything else in life. Right at this very second, though, I absolutely hate being a mom.
I’m sorry someone was shitty to you. Thank you for your post, I needed it today. I may have cried while reading it just now. You hit the nail on the head.