A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. I guess the same goes for stupid.

It’s no secret I have a potty mouth.

Back in my teaching days, one of the male teachers asked me how I managed to keep it clean when the kids were in the classroom.

I’m not really sure how I did it, but somehow I managed.

And somehow I manage at home.

Don’t get me wrong, I swear.

Just not in front of the kids.

Especially Number 4.

As soon as she learns  the word fuck, or any of its forms, it will only be a matter of days, or hours, before she teaches it to her friends.

And her class.

And all the kids on the bus.

Every once in a while Number 1 and Number 2 will let a little shit slip out.

That doesn’t bother me.

But name calling does.

And so do a couple adjectives.

Like stupid.

If you were to ask Numbers 3, 4, or 5, “Which word is worse, stupid or fuck?”

They would answer, stupid.

And then they would ask what fuck means.

As far as they are concerned, we have two s-words in our house.

Shut up and stupid.

I really don’t like those.

The kids know they are not nice things to say.

But somehwere in the 2-3 year age range, a child enters the You’re stupid! stage of life.

It’s kind of like the toddler Fuck you! You’re an asshole!

If you take their toy….

You’re stupid!

If you tell them NO…

You’re stupid!

If you cross them in any way…

You’re stupid!

So Number 5 and 6 have found their own little loophole to this situation.

First, they changed You’re stupid! to:

You’re stupe!

They weren’t actually saying the whole word.

So it was okay.

According to them.

I told them, according to me, it was the same thing.

So then it changed to:

You’re stew-it!

Different pronunciation.

Still not okay, I told them.

And now it has been whittled down to:

You’re stew!

Where are they learning this stuff?

If they were to drop an f-bomb, well,

I’d know where that came from…

But this is different.

This is name calling.

That shit can be damaging.

It’s much, much worse than the occasional curse word.

So now I have entered the parent hell of teaching Number 5 and 6 that name calling is not okay.

I have to undo this hurtful bullshit that they’ve learned from an unknown source.

Maybe the television.

Or their siblings.

Or their father.

This let’s-use-I-statements phase of parenthood is exhausting.

If everyone in this house could model that behavior, and not just me, it would make the task much easier.

Last week my husband and I really got into it.

I was pissed.

PISSED.

And I said to him,

You.

Are.

A.

Fucking.

Asshole.

I didn’t really say it, actually.

I kind of screamed it.

Oops.

So when does the do-as-I-say-and-not-as-I-do phase of parenting end?

Because apparently that’s the stage I’m in right now.

PLEASE TAKE ONE SECOND TO VOTE FOR ME!!!

  All you need to do is click on the banner above to register a vote for me! 

 You can vote one time every 24 hours from every computer and cell phone! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!! I really appreciate your support!

 Check out and “like” the not-your-average-mom.com facebook page!

Follow me on Twitter @mom_not_average