This foreclosure situation has taken a toll on me and my husband.
The statistics vary, but the exact numbers don’t really matter — the number one cause of stress and divorce in a relationship is money.
Or the lack of it.
With my husband working and me working and one of us coming home when the other one is leaving, well that doesn’t help because we spend zero time together.
So I’m committing to two things starting today.
Well, it’s 9:55 p.m. so I guess I’m committing to two things starting tomorrow.
I’ve mentioned before that I learned from a therapist that hugging someone for at least thirty seconds literally causes your body to produce feel good chemicals.
My husband and I may not have much time (or money) to do stuff together, but I definitely have 30 seconds each day to hug him.
So first, I’m committing to hugging my husband every day. No matter what. Even if we just had a fight about money. Or a fight about anything.
The second thing is that I need to stop working at night. I need to be available for my husband and our marriage once the kids are in bed.
This will be a tough one for me, because, well, I’m going to really have to get everything done in the morning and during the day.
And if I don’t, I’m going to have to allow myself to let it wait until the next day.
I’ve convinced myself that I must work morning, noon and night in order to help get my family out of this situation.
But I think I’ve also been using work as an excuse to avoid, well, everything.
I’ve been using it as an exit. As a way to avoid spending time with my husband because things have been so tense or just because I want something to occupy my brain and distract me from all the other stuff.
But the occasional finishing stuff up at night has turned into every single night.
It’s not good for a relationship. Especially one being tested.
So I’m not doing that anymore.
If there’s no blog post on one day, or more than one day, that’s why.
Because I need to devote some time to my husband and our marriage.
And I’m going to start right now by getting off this computer and climbing into bed next to him.
(If you are feeling disconnected with your husband — or wife — maybe you should take the hug-a-day challenge with me. Who’s in? Thirty days. See what happens… we’ll check back in on April 10th. Now go give your husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend a hug!)
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I’m in! Thirty days, months, years.