A Different Kind Of Thanksgiving

When I was a kid we had these huge Thanksgivings at my great grandmother’s house. They were awesome.

My grandmother and her sisters and my aunts and uncles and cousins were there and my great grandma would sit on the couch watching Lawrence Welk while my Gma and aunts cooked Thanksgiving dinner.

And then we’d all sit at a really long table (with a kids’ table of course) and eat and then my Uncle Dom would pass out in a recliner and we’d hang out in the living room for a long time just talking and having fun.

It was the best.

Many many years later, after I got married, we’d have Thanksgiving here at our house because with five little kids and multiple kids in high chairs at once and three or four of them still taking naps and all the shit we’d have to haul to someone else’s house, it was just way easier to have it here at home.

As the years passed and some of my relatives moved and the older relatives gradually kicked the bucket, Thanksgiving dwindled down to us and my parents.

My dad LOVES Thanksgiving.

After hosting a bazillion Thanksgivings, I can say with confidence that I know how to cook a good turkey.

And I make that turkey mostly for my dad cause I know he loves it so much.

But you know how many of my kids actually eat turkey?

ZERO.

And this year, my parents are going to stay home.

It will just be us here.

While I love the tradition of the Thanksgiving meal, I’m sorry, but there’s no fucking way I’m making a turkey.

Under the current circumstances, it’s just a big waste of time. And money. And food.

Cause nobody would eat it.

So I asked the kids what they wanted to eat.

You know what they asked for?

Mashed potatoes.

Stuffing.

Little pickles.

Cranberry sauce.

Brownies.

And chicken tacos.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

So that’s what I’m making.

Well, I don’t know if I’m actually going to make chicken tacos.

But I do know that I’m not killing myself to do what we’ve done in the past.

I’m going to really miss having my parents here.

But I’m also really looking forward to actually relaxing on Thanksgiving.

To not having a shit ton of dishes to clean up while everyone else is hanging out watching TV.

Maybe we’ll bake some pies.

Maybe we’ll buy them.

Who knows.

Maybe we’ll just go with the brownies.

There are a couple things I do know.

First, I’m running my own little Turkey Trot since all the actual Turkey Trots are cancelled.

I think most of the kids are going to run it with me.

This is a tradition that started in 2017 with just Number 4 and me.

In 2018 Number 3 was going to run it with me again but it was like 10° outside and I was trying to run a certain number of miles in November so I would run a couple miles and then stop in the house and baste the turkey and I repeated that like 3 times.

Last year all the girls ran it with me.

This year we are all gonna race each other.

Well, anyone who wants to join me.

The kids will have to give me a head start.

So I know I’m gonna do that.

Another thing I know is that I want to watch Trains, Planes and Automobiles with the kids.

And then maybe once everyone is in bed I’ll watch Love Actually all by myself because everyone knows Thanksgiving night officially kicks off Love Actually season and if you don’t watch it in that Thanksgiving-to-Christmas window then you have to wait a whole other year to watch it.

But either way, this year there will be no fucking turkey at my house.

Not made by me, anyway.

And I’m not only perfectly okay with that.

I’m actually kinda psyched about it.