The Greatest Victory Of All

Last year at her high school state championship meet, Gretchen unexpectedly finished 3rd in the 100 backstroke.

It was her freshman year and she was psyched to be at finals and was just hoping to swim a best time. Finishing in the top 3 was never on her radar.

When you finish in the top three in an individual event at state finals, you qualify for All-State.

There’s an All-State banquet, and most schools have some sort of recognition ceremony for athletes named to the All-State teams and there are banners hanging in the gym or the pool with the names of All-State athletes in each sport.

I think the thing that most swim parents who want big success for their kids aren’t aware of is that excelling doesn’t come without a price.

Yes, there is a rush when you win an event or stand on a podium or see your name on an All-State banner.

But what often follows that is the pressure to repeat the performance.

And attaching your value as a human being to your results. Comparing yourself to other people.

That pressure often makes it really hard to swim well.

It is really easy to begin a cycle of anxiety and self-doubt and only feeling good about yourself when you are swimming well.

Two Saturdays ago Gretchen had state trials.

She was seeded fifth in the 100 backstroke going into finals.

The top five times were:

1:00.58

1:00.63

1:00.64

1:00.79

1:00.91

Thirty-three hundredths separated first place and fifth place.

It was going to be a battle for Top 3.

Finals were three days later on Tuesday.

Gretchen was really nervous heading into finals.

REALLY nervous.

“Mom, I’m so nervous,” she told me the day before finals.

I told her the only thing she could do was go in there and do her best. I reminded her of all the work she put in and I told her to try to just relax and have fun with her friends.

The medley relay is the first event of the meet, and Gretchen was the lead off swimmer, swimming the 50 back.

This would most likely set the tone for the rest of the meet for Gretchen.

If she had a good swim she’d be in a great mindset for the 100 back.

I hoped for a good swim.

She didn’t have a good swim.

As a coach I could tell that she was freaking out a little. The pressure was getting to her. She was off.

She usually has a good start and she was one of the last people off the blocks. Her turn wasn’t great.

She didn’t have the split she wanted and I knew she was going to be disappointed.

About a half hour later she swam the 200 IM. She went into finals seeded 8th and she finished in 7th.

She was close to a best time, but I knew she wouldn’t be too psyched about how she swam in that either.

A few minutes later she came over to the stands where Marit and I were sitting.

“MOM I DID SO BAD IN THE RELAY,” she said.

I assured her she did not do badly at all.

Her team actually won and she qualified for All-State in the relay.

But all she could focus on was the negative stuff. Her brain was doing a number on her.

“AND I FELT HORRIBLE IN MY IM,” she continued.

I gave her a bunch of positive feedback.

She had a response for everything I said. She had a bunch of reasons lined up why she was probably going to fail.

I was getting a little frustrated.

“You can come up with a bunch of reasons why you’re probably not going to swim well in the 100 back,” I told her.

“Or you can get pissed about that 50 backstroke because you know you have a better swim than that in you. You’re prepared for this. You can do this.”

She nodded.

“YOU CAN DO THIS,” I told her again.

As Gretchen walked back to her team Marit and I looked at each other with an Oh man she’s totally panicking look.

I texted Ingrid. Gretchen is mental case.

Ingrid replied. I know.

Gretchen had already spoken to Ingrid.

I prepared for disappointment but hoped for the best.

If she didn’t place in the top 3 she’d be disappointed, but she would survive and be fine.

About an hour and a half later, it was time for Gretchen to swim.

If she had a good start and a good first 50, she’d have a shot at All-State.

If she didn’t have a great start it would be tough to come back and finish in the top 3.

Take your mark…. BEEP.

She SMOKED everyone on the start.

She was the first person to flip at the first 50.

Marit was going nuts screaming GOOOOO GRETCHIIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at the top of her lungs.

I was more peeking from behind my hands.

I knew one of the other swimmers would reel her in on the second 50 and it would come down to outswimming four other girls on the second half of the race.

The finish was so close I couldn’t tell what place she finished until I looked at the board.

She was in lane 2.

SHE GOT 3RD!!! SHE DID IT!!!

Marit and I were going NUTS.

YEAHHHHHHHH GRETCHIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!  YYYYEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The man sitting next to Marit said to her, “Did the person you’re cheering for win?”

“NOPE!” we said, and we went on cheering and screaming.

I wasn’t yelling at the top of my lungs because Gretchen medaled in her event or broke a minute for the first time.

I wasn’t screaming like a lunatic because she made All-State in the 100 back again.

The inner voice in her head.

The one that can be so, so convincing.

Gretchen set that voice straight last Tuesday night.

And that is the greatest victory of all.