My 2023 Goal

I’ve been pretty impulsive my whole life.

Words come out of my mouth before I think about them.

A thought comes into my head and I act on it.

I hear about something cool and I sign up for it.

Someone implies I can’t do something so I do it.

This impulsivity has its pros and cons.

I’ve done some pretty awesome things because of my impulsivity.

I ran the NYC Marathon because of it.

I ran the Boston Marathon because of it. Twice.

I directed the 4th grade play because no teachers volunteered to do it four years ago because of it.

These were all awesome experiences that taught me so much about myself.

But there’s a price to pay for this impulsivity.

When you say yes to one thing, you say no to another.

When you impulsively agree to run your first marathon ever at 43 years old when you’ve got five kids under seven years old, not very much money, and less than four months to train, you say no to a clean house, sleep, time with your kids, and low(er) levels of stress.

When you say yes to directing the 4th grade play, you say no to down time and being home after school for your kids.

In yesterday’s post I shared how life has been a little bit unmanageable in the last few months.

That’s because I’ve said yes to a bunch of new things since the summer.

In August I said yes to being the head swim coach of a girls’ high school swim team.

In September I said yes to being the new head swim coach of a boy’s high school swim team.

In December I said yes to taking over the local middle school swim team.

In saying yes to these three things in the last three months, I’ve said no to lots of other stuff.

Sleep. Organization. Time with the kids.

Yesterday was the culmination of saying yes to too many new things in a relatively short period of time.

I reached a breaking point.

This is a pattern I have repeated for many, many years.

Sometimes it’s caused by me being afraid of missing out.

Other times it’s caused by a fear of other people missing out.

I saw this on the Forbes Instagram page the other day:

I know they are talking mostly about cell phones and texting and email, but this really hit home after yesterday.

When you try to do everthing, you don’t really do anything very well.

I’m not giving up any of my coaching jobs. I love them all.

But running three different teams (all three for the first time!) that have seasons that overlap was way too much.

It was unmanageable and stressful and exhausting.

I did this to myself.

I don’t want to do this anymore.

So my goal for 2023 is to say no to anything new. No matter who’s going to miss out.

Whether it’s the kids or myself, I have to say no.

No marathons, no plays, no more swim teams… nothing.

I want to spend 2023 focusing on my health, my routines, and the things I’ve already got going.

I need more sleep. I need to strength train more consistently. I want to read more. I want to be off my phone when the kids are here. I want to be more organized.

I can do this as long as I don’t add anything new to my life.

This might be the most challenging goal I’ve ever set for myself.

Because impulsivity is part of my DNA. I’ve been wired this way my whole life.

I need to put some serious energy into rewiring my brain.

If I agree to another new thing, there’s no way I’ll have any energy left for rewiring.

If I want to say yes to being more present with my kids and focusing on my physical, emotional, and financial health, then I’ve got to say no to anything new in 2023.

So that’s what I’m gonna do.