This morning Number 3 left for Florida with the boys’ high school swim team.
They go there every year for a training trip over the 5-day February break from school.
The boys stay in a hotel and practice twice a day.
They get the shit kicked out of them.
The freshmen are super excited to go.
The upperclassmen go with a feeling of dread because they know what is coming. They are going to get their asses handed to them on a silver platter.
I swam in college. We went on a training trip to Fort Lauderdale every year over winter break.
It was 10 days of 4-6 hours of swimming each day with maybe an afternoon or possibly one whole day off.
Those training trips are brutal.
Sure, you get to go to the pool or the beach in between practices, but you are so tired, you can’t do very much when you aren’t swimming.
You wake up, you eat, you swim, you eat, you pass out on the beach or next to the pool or in your hotel room, you eat, you practice, you eat, you go to bed, and you do that like ten times in a row.
It’s probably a swimmer’s most physically challenging time of the season.
And there are many swimmers who are happy to never have to go on another training trip again once they graduate from college.
Looking back now I remember fun times riding with my team back and forth from the hotel to the pool, hanging at the beach with my friends, and the place we’d walk to pretty much every day to get ice cream.
I don’t recall the practices.
I think I blocked them all out.
Number 3 enjoys the challenge of a hard practice, but this is leveling things up.
He knows what to anticipate.
As I was driving him to meet his teammates and his ride to the airport, he said, “Mom, I’m nervous.”
Today will be his first time on an airplane.
He also has a history of motion sickness.
“Nervous about the flight?” I asked him.
“No, about practice, ” he said.
I reminded him that the team has been going on this trip for many years, and everybody has returned intact.
“You’ll be fine,” I assured him.
We pulled into the high school parking lot.
Number 3 got out of the car and grabbed his stuff.
I felt the lump in my throat beginning to swell.
He’s gone to swim meets on his own before in other states. But I was always there watching.
This kind of felt like a little college teaser.
He was flying out of the nest on a mini trip.
Literally.
Every time I drop Number 3 off at practice he says the same three things:
Bye, Mom.
Thanks for bringing me.
I love you.
He put his backpack on his back and looked at me through the passenger side of the car.
Bye, Mom.
Thanks for bringing me.
I love you…
A lot.
Oh, those two little added words to the end of the usual script put me over the edge, and the lump in my throat escaped.
I gave him a hug.
I told him to text me when he got there.
And then I watched my firstborn walk away.
He’s taller than me now, and his voice gives James Earl Jones a run for his money.
But the kid I watched walk away looked like this to me:
Letting go.
It’s really hard.
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I’m having trouble trying to type thru the tears 😭. Ohhh I have that feeling every year! It’s doesn’t seem to get better. 🤷🏻♀️ Stay strong mamma! It’s tough for us but the best is to know that It’s a great experience and He’s going to have an AWESOME TIME 😉🥰
with my entire soul, i get this. but as the mom of a college freshman, i will tell you that when you’ve built what you’ve so obviously built with him, they don’t go far. even if they’re physically a thousand miles away, they don’t go far. 💕
I hope so! So hard!!! I can’t imagine freshman year… 😭
Agreed! My first born is graduating in June and making plans to go to college about 4 hours away and I absolutely do not have a clue how to just let her go! She’s an amazing kid and I will kiss her! Please let us know how his trip was!
She is halfway through her chemo and done with radiation and doing well 🙂
Letting go is hard, but it is what parenting is ultimately about. My son (currently 17 y.o.) was miserable in school where we lived. Hated it. He’s a bright kid who needed a challenge which he wasn’t getting. I was watching him self destruct in front of me. No ambition and no drive. Stupid amounts of video games everyday and us arguing. Two years ago he went half a world a way to live in Japan with his grandparents to go to school there. He loves it. It’s hard. They do a ridiculous numbers of tests. But it is where he is happy. He now chooses to study and write over playing video games. I miss him like crazy, and so does his dad and sister. We FaceTime once a week or more. But everyday I am thankful we were able to give him this opportunity.
Your situation is different. It sounds like your son is happy at home and enjoys his school. But to go to college he will fly the nest. This is good. He gets a practice run of negotiating life away from home, but there will always be home to retreat to for respite. You are his respite and that is awesome. Not all kids think home is a respite. You’ve done an amazing job which is why, although it hurts like hell, you will let go. You’ve got this.
Aw, thanks Veebee! My Number 4 (8th grade) applied to boarding school for next year. She wants to go so badly. I want this opportunity for her also. It will be very difficult to let her go, but I know it’s what is in her best interest. Parenting is hard.
I have 3 wonderful boys. All have left home now. They r 32, 26 and 22. Love them all so much. Have done everything that I could for each of them, even tho I was a single parent. Gave up so much for them and would do it again without hesitation. Went to all their games and matches that I could with juggling work and each of their schedules. I loved watching them play and compete.
We had some really tough times thru the years while they were growing up. I tried to teach my boys everything I knew, to make them strong but caring, to make them street smart at the same time trying to protect them from the evils in the world. They were my life, and still are my life! I miss them so much. My oldest is married now with a wonderful woman that had 2 children from a previous marriage. So proud that my son treats both of them as if they were his own. Now they have given birth to my first granddaughter! She is beautiful and I get to spend every Wednesday with her! Look forward to it every week. Reminds me of my boys when they were young. My oldest calls me everyday and sometimes more than that. I love it. My youngest goes to college and will be graduating soon. He hung up his football cleats after playing this sport since he was 5. I can tell u that I was more devastated that day than he was. Football and sports have been a part of our family since they were young. All of them played football. My youngest calls me for everything and I enjoy doing things for him and with him and teaching him the way life is. Giving him direction and watching him fly higher and higher in his life.
My middle son is my most sensitive one. Well, he used to be until one of my past boyfriends told me he cried too much when he was little. He picked on him when I wasn’t around. Got rid of the boyfriend but it did some damage. He lost his best friend in a tragic accident and had numerous other things happen. He is doing well, meaning he has a job and says he is fine, however, I don’t hear from him very often and when I do it’s usually not because something good is happening in his life. I know he says he is happy but I want so much more for him in life. He says he doesn’t call cuz he is doing his thing and doesn’t want to bother me with everyday stuff. He can handle himself.
I am glad that all my boys love each other and have always got along with each other. Some of the best years if my life were the times we lived together, just me and my 3 boys and our dogs and all their friends!! Hahaha! Those were the best if times!
I miss them so much. Would give anything to have those days back! Now I come home to an empty house and I hate it. It’s too quiet.
I never kept any of my boyfriends because my boys came first and they didn’t like that. They said I needed to cut the apron strings. Instead I cut them out of my life.
My boys will always be the most important in my life. So proud of all their accomplishments.
Always the hardest times we’re when it was time for them to move on in life. Knew it was for the best, but it killed me inside everytime. One of the hardest parts about being a parent. U know it’s part of life and you want them to have their own lives and enjoy watching them grow and succeed in life. Hard to be left behind and forgotten about after they are gone. I’m in tears writing this reply.
Cherish every moment you have with your children while they still live with you!! Seeing them move on is so difficult especially when u have to turn around and walk into an empty house.
I have a lump in my throat… there are so many milestones, college was difficult for us. To let go of each of our three kids was tough. Then came weddings….. no words can prepare you, esp if you know it won’t work out. Being a mom is a tough gig. Grandkids, living in this day and age, create new grey hairs, new wrinkles, sleepless nights. I look at fifty years as a parent and now as a grandparent, it is not for the faint of heart❤️