We changed swim teams last week after being on the same team since the kids first entered the world of competitive swimming six years ago.
This was a big change for our family for a number of reasons.
Our routine was changing. The kids’ coaches were changing. The place we were spending most of our afternoons was changing. Their group of friends was changing.
There was a lot of changing.
And I felt really nervous, unsure, and guilty about doing that to the kids.
Really guilty.
Because I just want them to be happy and in a place where they feel comfortable and confident.
And that place, at least as far as swimming is concerned, has been in the same pool with the same coaches and the same friends and the same routine.
I am also a homebody and a small town girl whose parents still live in the same house they have lived in since they built it when I was five years old. I went to the same school system from kindergarten until I graduated from high school, and I never moved as a kid and I liked that. A lot.
I liked the consistency and the predictability and the level of comfort I had as a kid. I felt safe and I felt like I knew what to expect.
I suppose I could have handled some major changes as a kid just fine. It probably would have even been good for me.
So going into this whole swim team change, I was really worrying about how the younger two were going to take it. I waited about a week to tell them once we knew the decision was official. I swore Number 3 and 4 — who were both very excited about the switch — to secrecy.
I got to the point where I was losing sleep over it.
And when the day came about ten days ago when I finally told Number 5 and 7, I was a nervous wreck.
Upon hearing the news, they were both upset. There were lots of tears and lots of NO!!!’s and lots of WHY?????’s.
That lasted approximately ten minutes.
I think the way I presented it helped, and the fact that the girls had been to this pool many times before so they had an idea of at least what the place looked like helped.
But then emotions turned from sadness to excitement. Number 5 asked for a picture of the new team’s logo, and she drew a picture of it so she could hang it in her room.
And that was that.
The first night of practice there were some nerves, but Number 5 hopped right in the pool. Number 7 took a little longer to warm up as once she set foot on the pool deck she realized how different it was from her old team and she was a little overwhelmed. Plus Number 7 marches to the beat of her own drum, so you never know what to expect with her.
But the second time we came to the pool, she hopped right in. In fact, a little girl on the team brought her two Rainbow Loom bracelets to give her on the second night of practice. And that was all it took.
It was like we’d been with this new team all along.
I think very often we try to shield our kids from change because we don’t want them to be upset or unsure or uncomfortable. We want predictability and routine and we want them to feel safe.
At least I do.
But never providing them with opportunities to handle change won’t help them in the long run. It actually does them a disservice because change is inevitable and it’s everywhere and it happens all the time.
And my kids taught me another lesson in these last couple weeks.
All this time I was so worried about them.
But the person who really needs the most help embracing and adjusting to change is me.
Need some more help? Get my FREE course —
3 Keys To More Helpful Kids
Leave a Reply