When I was a kid, my well meaning dad got my mom a white blouse for Christmas.
Every single year.
By the time I left for college, my mom had 17 white blouses in her closet, and she never really wore any of them.
In an effort to save you well-meaning husbands from stressing over what the hell to get your wives for Christmas, I posed a question to the readers.
What would you really like, enjoy, and appreciate for Christmas?
Read on for a foolproof gift for your wife.
If you are focusing on thoughtful/handmade gifts:
You know that project you have been promising to finish for your wife?
Finish it.
In the words of one reader:
I’ve always wanted a mantle to hang our stockings from. This past summer [my husband] acquired some 100+ yr old barn beams and is making me one! Hand chiseled and has even carved our initials in it. No hard earned $ but appreciate the time & hard work he’s put into something he knows I’ll love and cherish always.
Okay. I know most of you aren’t going to hand chisel a mantel. My husband is a master carpenter, and I’m not getting anything close to that this year. But you catch the drift.
Don’t worry. Most of us don’t expect that, either. Keep reading.
If she likes keepsake gifts that remind her of the kids:
Moms love these bracelets because you can add charms to them. Get this bracelet as a gift and you can have the kids each pick out a charm for her. Have a baseball player in the family? Get this baseball charm to go with it. Have a ballerina? She can give your wife this ballet shoe charm. If your wife is a music lover, get her this charm.
And if you get her this bracelet, you now have something you can easily add to for Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, her birthday… all year long!
I had never seen these wooden silhouettes before, but when a reader suggested them I checked them out and I LOVE THEM!
If your wife loves pictures of the kids, then she’ll love these, too. You can also have them custom designed and painted. The only downside is that because they are custom made, the turnaround time is about four weeks. But you could always wrap up a picture of one and tell her that it’s on its way! She’ll be so impressed you did this, she won’t care if she had to wait.
(These would also be great gifts for grandparents!)
If your wife is anything like me, she has a million pictures of the kids, but they are all on her phone or on Facebook, but not actually developed and anywhere in your house.
Create one of these photo books (really easy to do here on Shutterfly) and you are sure to get lucky on Christmas night. They are pretty easy to do, and if you don’t have pictures of your own or they haven’t been downloaded to the family computer, all you need to do is check out her Facebook page and save them from there.
If she used to get dressed in real clothes, only wears yoga pants since having kids, and often says, “I have nothing to wear”:
Get her a one year subscription to Get Your Pretty On. This is like having an online personal stylist, and with your one year subscription your receive 4 seasons of super cute mix and match outfits. I have personally participated in this program since September and I f*cking love it. It has changed my life. And if your wife is in a rut, it will change hers too.
Give her a gift card and arrange for her to go shopping for a day.
This way, you don’t have to guess what she wants, you don’t buy a too big size of something and risk offending her, and you also don’t have to suffer along shopping for the day with her.
Win-win.
If she’s into fitness:
Get her a fitbit charge. I am dying for one of these. They monitor your heart rate continuously, track workouts, tell you how many calories you’ve burned, how many minutes you’ve been active each day, how many floors you’ve climbed and steps you’ve taken, and they also monitor your sleep! I’m dying for one of these!
Pay for the registration for a Mud Run or 5K or Warrior Dash or triathlon or other kind of race.
These things can be pricey, but if you know your wife wants to do one, she’ll love you for this! Bonus points if you register to do it with her (and offer to train with her).
Give her a gym membership. Preferrably to one with free babysitting.
DO NOT GIVE THIS TO YOUR WIFE IF SHE IS GOING TO TAKE IT AS A SUGGESTION THAT SHE NEEDS TO LOSE WEIGHT.
But if your wife has made comments about wishing she had a gym membership or that she wants to get in shape or that she wishes she could do yoga, this gift would be great.
Exercise also improves a woman’s sex drive. So there’s that.
If your wife needs a f***ing break:
If you have a huge budget: Send her away for a weekend.
Do not give her a “coupon.” Actually make the reservation. Make it at a place that offers spa services. If you live in Connecticut, I love the Interlaken Inn in Lakeville, CT.
Take care of all child care arrangements yourself. DO NOT put that on her.
If you really want to go all out, arrange for transportation, too.
If you have a medium budget: Give her a day or half a day at the spa.
All spas have gift cards, and most spas have Christmas deals this time of year. If you know your wife loves a good facial or massage or manicure/pedicure, this gift is perfect. If it’s in your budget, get her the full treatment: massage, facial, mani/pedi. If you can’t afford that, pick one from the list. Even just a pedicure is a really nice break!
If you have a limited budget: Give her the day off.
And by day off, that means you give her a full twelve hours (of daylight) or even better, twenty four hours, where she doesn’t have to do anything. No cooking. No cleaning. No laundry. No driving. No arranging for anything. She gets to do whatever the f*ck she wants.
And in order for that to happen, you will most likely need to remove the children (and yourself) from the house. For the whole day. You will need to feed, clothe, and transport kids to wherever they need to go. It will take some planning. But it will be one of the best gifts you can give her.
If you know your wife would like to spend some quality time with you:
Buy some dancing lessons.
If your wife has mentioned that she wishes she could go dancing with you, this will make you the husband of the year. There are lots of dance studios around that have packages, and many Parks and Rec programs offer dance lessons that are very reasonably priced for six or eight weeks.
Get concert tickets or tickets to a show.
The key to this is also arranging for childcare arrangements all by yourself so your wife doesn’t have to worry about it. That will be almost a better gift than the show or the concert.
Take her away for the weekend.
Ditto what was said above. Make an actual reservation and also take care of all child care arrangements. Just make sure you check the kids’ sports schedules so that you aren’t planning your weekend when they have basketball championships or something huge that weekend that you don’t want to miss.
And for this, again, if you are in CT, I highly recommend the Interlaken Inn.
Treat your friends to a gift card for a mani/pedi or massage for Christmas!
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