Holy Shnikes.
I don’t really know where to begin.
A couple days ago I wrote a post explaining my current situation.
I wasn’t looking for money or handouts.
I was more writing the post because I know I’m not the only person in this situation. And what I know is that being in this situation fucking sucks.
But I believe there is a way out.
And I believe this is happening to me because there is something I’m supposed to learn from this.
So I really just wanted to encourage other people who can relate to keep going. Stay the course.
Because when faced with tremendous financial difficulties, or any other difficulties for that matter, curling up into a ball in the corner of the room can look pretty tempting.
But it doesn’t help you change your circumstances.
When one of the ladies in one of the e-courses I’m running suggested starting a Go Fund Me campaign for me, at first I said no.
I said that while that would help me in the short term, it wouldn’t solve my long term problems.
I said that people would judge, that people would wonder why the fuck I haven’t been able to get myself out of this mess, that people would shame me.
But then I thought about it more.
I need to help my family. I need to save my family. And I will do whatever I can.
I will accept whatever help is offered to me until we are caught up.
Regardless of what you all might think, I do not write about every single detail of my life.
There are things I keep private.
Some because I think I should, and others because I am respecting peoples’ privacy.
While I do invite you into my life, there are many aspects of it of which you are unaware. And while you know some of the story, you don’t know all of it.
So I told the e-course ladies that I would let whatever happens happen.
If they wanted to go ahead and start a Go Fund Me campaign, I was okay with it.
As predicted, there were lots of judgemental people who felt the need to shame me.
To tell me it was time for me to go back to work.
Who felt the need to let me know that they “never accepted handouts.”
I know I don’t need to justify myself.
The people who don’t get it, don’t get it.
And they probably never will get it.
But the reality of the situation is that I have been working full time all summer.
I have been teaching private swim lessons and coaching the swim team.
I haven’t had a day off, actually, in over 5 weeks.
I have worked every single day. Weekends, too.
So for all the people wondering why I haven’t gone back to work, well, I have.
And I am almost making enough money at this point to cover the bills.
But I am not making enough money to come up with $35,000 in the next couple months.
I am so far down in a hole, that I cannot climb back out unassisted.
And that is where the people who get it come in.
Thank you to the ladies in my e-course. You are my supporters. My defenders.
Thank you to Tracey and Jo and Joanna and Sharlene and Emily and Kelly and Jana and Chantelle and Kathie and Carrie and Debra.
You have all gone above and beyond. You have become my family.
And I love you all.
And thank you to all the people who have supported their efforts.
Thank you for all your kind and supportive comments.
Thank you for your donations.
I am blown away by everybody. There really aren’t words for me to convey how I feel.
Thank you for believing in me and constantly reminding me that the world is full of some incredibly amazing people.
I am truly humbled and amazed by your support.
And the truth of the matter is, we are all a big family here.
And that was initially the goal of this blog. To create a place where moms (and dads) felt supported, and not alone.
I thought I was trying to provide a place like that for other people.
But you have provided that place for me.
And I will be forever grateful.
I also think it is important to keep in mind that you’re providing a service to people in regards to the blog. I enjoy reading it on an almost daily basis. While it is lovely that the service is provided for free, it’s not unreasonable for people who are utilizing it to occasionally put some $ towards it as well, and the gofundme page is a great way to do that! Good luck!
Thank you so much, Rebecca!
When I thought I was the only one down or having hard times your blog has helped me to see there are others going through hard times. I wouldn’t mind next month making another donation (paying for your blog).
I have 3 children (13,9,&8) and found out I’m pregnant. (An unexpected blessing) I’m also going back to teaching after being out of the education field for sometime. The timing of all this of couldn’t be crazier, but I’m going with it. Your blog helps me to stay focused on what important and it will be ok.
I’ll continue to pray for you and your family. Again I say thank you and keep going.
Sandy
Thank you Sandy. It really means a lot to me! And congratulations!
Hi! I’m 21 years old and don’t have any kids (or a boyfriend for that matter!). But I’ve also read your blog every day for 2 years, I can’t even remember how I ended up here but you’ve inspired me in all aspects of my life. I’ve recommended you to anyone who asks about how I know all these wonderful tricks for life, plus it really helped with her mental health issues. And so, I know you’ve heard it 10000x, but fuck you’re so amazing and maybe one day I’ll be half the person you are
Hi Susie, I really look forward to reading your blog before I go to bed. Your a breath of fresh air. Good luck to you and your family in the next few weeks. I know if we lived closer we would be friends!
Holly in Alberta
I randomly found Susie’s blog when I was bedridden for one month after a painful series of surgeries. It was in the beginning of her blogging adventure and I think I read her first 6 months of posts in 3 days on my cell phone in bed. I was hooked. I loved her absolutely REAL perspective about life, kids, and all the madness in between. I love her honesty and courage to share the intimate details of her struggles with others, in hopes of giving other parents/people the strength to face their own madness. And I absolutely know she is an inspiration to many, myself included.
Having learned through the blog that Susie teaches swim lessons, I sent her an email one summer to make an appointment. I live in the general area, but it would still be a 45 minute drive, one-way to get to swim lessons. Certainly, there were swim lessons available in multitude in a 10-mile radius from my house, but having tried lessons through various organizations, my girls didn’t get it. We did lessons with Susie three days a week for about three weeks. And my kids no longer feared going under the water, no longer had to hold their noses, and looked forward to going swimming without floaties. But the point I’m getting at here isn’t that she is a great swim teacher (she is!) but that Susie is real and lovely and hard working. Her kids are friendly and polite and helped my kids not be nervous on their first day at a new pool with a new teacher. Though we were just swim clients, I would be proud to call her a friend. She is genuine. The blog is not contrived in any way in my brief personal experience with Susie.
And her dedication to the blog amongst the commotion of a full house and busy life is amazing. So many people claim they want to be a writer, or say they are writing a book, but a minute percentage of people have the stamina and determination to actually BECOME writers. And writing is a profession. Reporters are paid, novelists are paid, jingle writers are paid. Bloggers are writers. Yes, they may write for some self-gratification or desire to help other people. But maintaining a blog and building a base of readers is also designed to bring in income—both from readers and advertisers. So I absolutely support the GFM drive.
Please consider. Susie has been writing the blog for about three years. The GoFundMe drive is hoping for $40,000 in pledges. 40K divided by three years = $13,333. Her FaceBook page has 14,000 likes. If every person who liked the page gave a dollar per year of enjoying her blog, she would have made more than $40,000. Most people could dig out $3 from their couch cushions (along with 40,000 old cheerios!) Most people spend more money on a cup of coffee.
I have read through other comments and see a lot of criticism. I never understand why people have to criticize others online, especially in such personal ways. Unless an egregious “crime” has been committed keep your unwanted advice to yourself. If you don’t agree with the GFM drive, don’t donate. But why tell Susie to “get a job,” or “stop accepting handouts.” If you don’t like what she is doing or how she is trying to support her family, stop following the blog and save your judgement for something else. But, if you have been inspired by her words in any way, if you have chuckled at a photo of her kiddos decorating the kitchen with cheerios, flour, or markers, or have related to any of her struggles, now is the time to pony up your $3+ “subscription” for her words, her talent, her job.
I haven’t seen Susie in two years, nor have we had the opportunity to go back to swim lessons recently (and not for lack of desire). Maybe she remembers me or my kids, maybe not. I am just writing as someone who understands her position and knows that a few dollars from all of you can help all of us keep her as our favorite blogger.
Good luck Susie!
Wow, Sarah. Thank you. Of course I remember you… my dad even remembers you! In fact, I was just thinking about you the other day, wondering how the girls were doing. Thank you for this. Really. Thank you so much.
🙂 And congrats on Scary Mommy! Can’t wait to read all your future posts, wherever they are.
Amen to paragraph number 5 above!!! i’ve been trying to figure out how to send those exact words/thoughts! If you don’t like it, don’t support it. But why, why throw all the negativity out there?
Susie, I love love love your blog and feel like I have learned so much from you. Your advice and ideas and support from afar means so much to me.
I can’t wait to read what you and your family have been up to every day.
You’ve got more gumption and determination than anyone I know… or feel like I know anyway! 🙂
Keep your chin up!
I hope you keep your home. As a single divorced 55 year old teacher, I say to those who say you should go back to teaching that getting up in the morning, getting your kids ready, going to school and teaching 25 kids a day, coming home and taking care of your kids, then writing lesson plans, grading papers, etc., would not be physically possible. I can hardly handle the paperwork and pressure the last few years have put on teahers. I had a nightmare about the new reading books last night. I go to work early, stay late, work on weekends, and still cannot please the paperwork police. And if the bank foreclosures on you, someone else will make a profit on the work you and your husband have done.
Also, your previous post about going to court and spending so much money on custody battles. My granddaughter was the subject of such a battle and the only ones who profited were the lawyers. I now advise people to walk away and stop fighting. The kids grow up and reunite with the other parent anyway. What are your thoughts about this now?
An experiment in a family court in the UK showed that when the lawyers did not get paid but had to represent the parents until the conflict was resolved, guess what? The lawyers advice changed and custody issues were solved much more quickly. Go figure.
I have always worked and lived cheaply and yet still live hand to mouth. Going to college does not provide one with adequate income in today’s world. Best wishes. Anne
Hard times…
I am new here. Reading, perusing and laughing (I call my kids assholes, too.) I am so sorry that you are going through some seriously tough times. Keep your chin up, take care of yourself, and the chips will fall where ever they will fall. You seem to be a very good person and I am confident that ‘this too shall pass’ and you and your family will come out fine.