Some scary shit.

I don’t know how many people exactly in town read my blog.

But I think it’s kind of a lot.

I have been in the locker room at the Y and at a 5:30 a.m. spin class and in the grocery store and the liquor store and random parking lots and at baseball games and elementary school open houses and at away swim meets and parties and yoga class and all sorts of other places when people have approached me to tell me that they read it.

And while I’ve developed a reputation for putting it all out there, contrary to popular belief, I’m not always totally comfortable doing that.

But like I said at Not Your Average Weekend and like I’ve said here on the blog over and over again, I believe one of the best things you can do for your own personal growth is to do something outside your comfort zone every day.

Some days you push yourself in bigger ways than others.

Anytime you go to the gym and push yourself physically you are making yourself uncomfortable.

Other days, you do something bigger. Something that scares the shit out of you.

Yesterday was one of those days for me.

Because yesterday I plastered our finances, in detail, all over the internet.

That was scary.

I opened myself up to the potential for lots of judgement.

And like I said, I think quite a few people around town read the blog.

And I know some of them are saying, There she is. That’s the chick on SNAP. Or That’s the chick with the really bad potty mouth. Or That’s the chick who was in the looney bin multiple times.

Or whatever.

And while it is incredibly freeing to just let it all out, I do sometimes wonder when someone looks at me in a strange way if they have read something I’ve written. And if they are judging me.

Today, I got a nice email from someone in town who I think I’ve met, but who I don’t really know. And she’s not a reader. But it started out by saying, I overheard a few women talking about your blog today…

Part of my was like, Hell yeah! People are talking about my blog!

And then part of me was like, Oh shit. People are talking about my blog.

Was it good talk?

Or was it bad talk?

I was definitely uncomfortable. Maybe I had gone too far. Maybe I shouldn’t have put that out there.

But then I also got this email (shared with permission):

I’m a new reader. But thanks to you I did my first yoga class on Tuesday. Holy shit- yoga! Ya. I got a gym membership too. (where I did the yoga) two weeks ago and have been to the gym 12 out of the 14 days I’ve had it. I’ve lost 4lbs…. Because of you, I also just wrote down goals. I’ve never done that, My list is getting long….When I buy 100 acres of land in 2020 you can host your first Canadian “Not your Average Weekend” on our property 🙂 I look forward to coming to bed every night and reading your post- it’s like a reward for getting through bedtime. I’m getting caught up on your life story and previous posts. Wow. Just wow. Woman- is there anything you haven’t done or been through? Anyways, everything you write everyday just always seems to be exactly what   I needed to hear. Like the big sister I never had. So thank you. P.S. Zig Ziglar is currently my lapop desktop screen. Thanks again.

Wow is right.

Getting an email like that makes all that doubt disappear.

Thank you.

So. Much.

And thank you to everyone for all the supportive comments after yesterday’s post.

I am so grateful, and I really appreciate them. A lot.

Thank you all for taking this journey with me.

I never know which way I’m gonna go, but whichever direction I turn, I know I’m not going alone.

And that makes everything much less scary.

 

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