I need a remote control locator. And a phone locator. And a brush locator. And a mind locator. Because unfortunately, I’ve lost them all.

I think I probably spend a good 20 minutes of every day just looking for shit that I should be able to find right away.

We used to have a cordless phone with two handsets no one could ever locate.  So I bought a phone with 4 handsets.

Now we have a cordless phone with 4 handsets that no one can ever locate.

The same thing goes for brushes.  It doesn’t matter how many I buy.  I can never find a brush.

The last 3 mornings have not been good.  3 of the kids have pretty bad head colds, and there has been a lot of coughing and a lot of waking up at night.  As a result, I’ve had a really hard time getting up the past couple days.

We’ve been seriously scrambling to get out the door on time.  It has not been good.

Two days ago, I was literally brushing Number 4’s hair as she was walking up the steps and getting on her bus.  The good thing about Number 4 is that while most other kids would be mortified by this, she thought it was hilarious.

“MY MOM IS BRUSHING MY HAIR!!!” she yelled to everyone, and then she laughed.  Like a mad scientist.

Yesterday, I couldn’t even find a brush.  I kind of lost it on everyone.  I expended just about all of my energy restraining myself from saying some form of the word fuck out loud.

So I ended up combing through Number 4’s hair with my fingers, like a crazed dog digging in the ground for a buried bone, as the bus was approcahing our driveway.

Number 4’s hair is damaged pretty badly from chlorine, so no amount of brushing really makes it look that good, but yesterday was really not good.  It was not one of her better hair days, to put it mildly.

Fast forward to 3:45.

“Mom, I had a great day!” Number 4 said as she got off the bus.

Phew.

“Mrs. O said my behavior was really good.”

Woo hoooo!

“And she asked me who brushes my hair in the morning.”

Fuck.  (Still not out loud, at least).

“Um, what did you tell her?”

I was afraid to hear the answer.

“I told her my mom can’t often find a brush.”

Great.

Well, I’ve said it before, and I’m sure I’ll say it again…  If there’s no post tomorrow, that means DCF has come and taken me away.

Now I have to go.  I’ve got a brush to locate.

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