If you have been around here for a while, you know that we are in the midst of the shittiest financial situation we have ever been in.
I put this information out there about a year ago.
Not because I was looking for help, but just because carrying that burden of financial difficulties on your back,
pretending like everything is okay,
feeling the need to keep up with the Joneses,
or like you are a failure,
is really exhausting.
Letting it go and saying fuck you to the shame and embarrassment was a relief.
Big time.
And once I said it out loud, people started helping.
From all over the country.
First there were the general offers of help.
Let me know if I can do anything.
Then there were offers to send money.
To buy me a washing machine when ours bit the dust.
And initially, I was unwilling to accept help.
So then, people stopped asking.
And they just started sending. And doing.
We went from dreading the holidays to having the best Christmas we’ve ever had. (Read that one. it’s a good one.)
Then, after Christmas, I had a mini nervous breakdown. (a good one too)
That was when the Cavalry swooped in to save me. (also a good one)
Up until this point, I remember feeling guilty about receiving so much help and being unable to reciprocate.
I also remember people telling me that at some point, the situation would be reversed.
My time to help someone else would come.
I couldn’t envision that time.
Since the cavalry arrived, I have become an expert at asking for help.
And an expert at accepting it.
I have gone from feeling the need to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders to having a huge group of supporters and a very, very strong safety net for my family.
My kids have multiple adults to look out for them.
If I am in a jam, I have dozens of people to call on for help.
I don’t feel like I am weak for relying on the help of others.
On the contrary.
I feel pretty fucking strong.
I feel really good about the foundation I have built to support my children and my family.
My financial situation still sucks.
I am in no position to help anyone out in that department.
But my mental state is better than ever.
And physically, I’m in great shape.
In fact, I’m running a half marathon next Sunday.
And so, less than 6 months after my nervous breakdown, a friend has found herself in a situation.
And I have found myself in the position to help her.
Every week.
Indefinitely.
That time to help someone else arrived!
So yeah… I have reached the point where it feels pretty darn good to be able to accept help.
But to be able to give it?
Well, there’s really no comparison.
No, I may not have money in my pocket.
But I haven’t felt this rich in a long, long time.
Number 1! Please keep me there!
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Thank you! I am in a horrible financial situation myself and feeling like I am alone, your blog showed me that we are not alone. My husband works 2 jobs, we have 6 kids and we have cut every expense imaginable and still our income is far below the expenses when 510 is taken out for child support off top. One job he gets paid 11.80 an hour, works 50+ hours a week and brings in 300 every 2 weeks, it’s pathetic and they won’t lower his child support, but with making so much an h our every possible help says we make too much bc they go off the gross income. OK my rant is over, thank you for letting me see we aren’t alone in this.