She has a long road ahead of her.

Something awesome happened today.

Before I get to that, let me backtrack.

About 15 years ago, I was in an abusive relationship.

I wrote about that whole experience in the following four posts:

Sleeping with the Enemy, Part One.

Sleeping with the Enemy, Part Two.

Sleeping with the Enemy, Part Three.

Sleeping with the Enemy, The Conclusion.

It was a seriously sad and fucked up time of my life.

Sad because I felt so poorly about myself that I allowed someone to treat me that way.

But it did help to make me the person I am today.

So when Patty left a comment on the blog a month or so ago, it’s no wonder I immediately felt connected to her.

I’m not saying the nature of her relationship is exactly the same as mine was.

I don’t know as I’m not there.

But it was not healthy.

And I know if you have never been in that situation it is almost impossible to comprehend.

You’d think the longer you let yourself be treated that way, the more pissed you’d get, and the easier it would be to leave.

But it’s the opposite.

The longer you stay, the more crazy things you start to tell yourself.

You convince yourself that there is something you can do to change the other person.

You start to wonder if it really is all your fault.

If you asked for it.

But there is also still that small sliver of your brain telling you it’s not your fault.

And then, knowing this is true but not doing anything about it, you really feel weak and like a piece of shit.

And so the cycle continues.

That’s why I started the Go Fund Me Campaign for Patty.

Because many times lack of money is what stops women from leaving.

I wanted Patty to know she wouldn’t have to worry about money initially.

That if she made the decision to get out, she’d be able to pay for a place to stay until she got a job.

So back to that awesome thing I mentioned.

Patty moved into her own apartment today.

That is fucking huge.

HUGE!

She was able to do that because of everyone who contributed to the Go Fund Me Campaign so far.

But that’s only a part of the awesome thing that happened.

Although the Go Fund Me Campaign for Patty has raised $2300, it takes a few business days for the funds to transfer and become available.

Patty was able to borrow money to put down a deposit on her new home, knowing she’d pay that back as soon as the Go Fund Me money became available.

But she didn’t really have money for food.

And she needed diapers and formula for her boys.

So yesterday I put out a call on the blog Facebook page to anyone living in Virginia who might be able to help.

I got several responses, and ultimately, there were two women who were close enough to help.

Today.

One of them got Patty a gift card to Walmart.

The other woman and her husband drove over an hour and delivered formula, diapers, and a gift card to Kroger.

I couldn’t believe it.

Neither could Patty.

I got this message from the reader who delivered the formula and diapers to Patty:

 

And then I got this message from Patty:

 

And she said to me, “I HAVE FRIENDS!!!”

So yes, the fact that Patty is making some very scary but very healthy decisions is HUGE.

But the fact that through this place, through this blog, I was able to reach people hundreds of miles away who could help her out is pretty incredible too.

That you all made Patty feel like she isn’t alone.

I am so grateful for this place.

And I am so grateful for all of you.

But I’m not done yet.

My goal is to raise $5000 for Patty. We are almost halfway there.

I’m not stopping until we get to $5000.

It takes a tremendous amount of energy to make changes of the magnitude that Patty is making.

And my goal is that I can help Patty in these first few months so that she does not have to worry for one second about keeping a roof over her head or food in her boys’ stomachs.

That she has a month or two to get settled and find some decent childcare, and have a little extra money to fall back on in case she has an emergency. Car trouble. A broken appliance. Whatever.

And my goal is also for the money that is raised to be used toward rent and food.

And not the other stuff that Patty still needs.

She is in an apartment with very little right now. I told her I didn’t know what I’d be able to do, but that I was going to do my best to get the stuff that she still really needs donated.

She replied with, “Really?”

And I replied with, “Yes. Really.”

So I’m asking for more help.

First, if you haven’t donated yet but have the means to even give $5, please do.

Click here to go to the Go Fund Me Page.

And then share it. Share this post!

Second, here are the things Patty could really use:

• a coffee maker (really, really badly)
• curtains and curtain rods (she’s got no coverings for her windows at all)
• towels
• pots and pans
• silverware and cooking utensils
• Tupperware
• a dresser for the boys

I asked her to give me a list of everything she needed, and that was all she asked for.

Let’s hook her up.

If you are able to help in any way, you can message me on the Facebook page or email susie@not-your-average-mom.com.

Like that reader who delivered diapers and formula to Patty said today,

She is the real deal.

She has a long road ahead of her.

That’s true.

So let’s do what we can to at least make sure there aren’t too many bumps in that long road.

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