With more and more states shutting down schools for 2/3/4 weeks or indefinitely, we are all finding ourselves in unanticipated situations.
And they are situations that many of us have not ever really had to navigate.
Because social distancing removes a lot of our options.
It’s not like summer vacation.
There is no camp to send our kids to. No playdates or sleepovers. No trips to playgrounds or trampoline parks.
And many of us have lost our outlets. Our gyms are closed. Our daycares are closed.
If you work from home, finding a way to be productive when your kids are home is extra challenging.
If you work outside the home, lining up childcare can be very difficult.
It’s not an ideal situation for any of us, really.
But you get to decide how you respond.
Have you seen this post from Facebook?
https://www.facebook.com/HonestTeenTalk/photos/a.282618582224039/798080420677850/?type=3&theater
The day those bedrooms are empty is coming.
It’s coming.
And it may be coming sooner than you think.
A week ago I found out Number 4 was accepted to boarding school starting in August.
Instead of having four years and five months left before she leaves, I have five months.
And zero years.
That’s it.
The next few weeks can be a perceived punishment requiring jokes about how much alcohol you need to endure unanticipated time with your kids, or they can be a gift.
This is an opportunity for you to get back to basics. To focus on what’s really important. To redirect some of the habits your family has developed that you might look back on years from now when those bedrooms are empty and be full of regret.
But in order to do that, there are things we have to remember.
1) You have to manage your expectations. Your kids are going to annoy you. You are going to annoy them. This isn’t going to be picture perfect. All things will not run flawlessly or even smoothly sometimes. Or a lot of times. This isn’t just a disruption for you. It’s a disruption for your kids. They will miss their friends and their routines and the structure they had up until just a few days (or hours) ago.
2) You still need to take care of yourself. You need to move your ass and get enough sleep and give yourself some down time. This might mean watching 30 minutes less TV every day. It may require watching no TV every day. Something is gonna have to give. Taking care of yourself can’t be that thing.
3) You are driving the bus. You are the leader. You are the guide! Your kids are still… kids! You are going to have to do some modeling and leading by example. You need to lay out clear expectations and boundaries. If you don’t want your kids spending time on their phones or devices all day, you can’t do that yourself. If you want your kids to go outside and get some fresh air, you might need to do that with them!
4) Anxiety manifests itself in many ways. Your kids have probably heard enough sh*t and misinformation on the bus and at school that they are very likely really confused. Even if they are teenagers. If your kids are extra emotional or irritable or acting out, what they probably need most is some time with you and some extra understanding and patience.
5) You are going to have to get creative. Yeah, it’s annoying, but that’s tough. You may need to change your work schedule around. You may need to get up earlier than normal and log a few hours of work before the kids wake up. You might need to go to bed a lot earlier than you usually do. You might need to move the time you normally exercise to a different time of day. You might need to change the kind of exercise you typically do.
This is doable. And it’s doable in a way where years from now your family can look back on the next couple weeks and say,
“Remember when the Coronavirus happened, and we did (fill in the blank)?
THAT WAS SO AWESOME!!!”
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