100 things that go through your head during a marathon.

I can’t believe it’s time.

This is so exciting!

It’s going to take forever just to get to the start line.

I should have stayed at the very back.

If there’s an emergency, I’m totally going to get trampled to death.

Whoah. Someone ate a shitload of garlic last night.

I should have worn a different shirt.

I’m so nervous.

I should have trained more for this.

I should have rested more for this.

We’re starting!

I can’t believe I’m running a marathon.

Wow. That chick is totally shredded.

What the hell is he wearing?

Did I start my watch?

I feel great!

This is amazing!

One mile done!

I love running!

I should pick it up a little.

How the hell is that woman ahead of me?

I am a bad ass motherfucker.

Shit. I have to pee already.

3 miles done.

Oh my God.

I still have 23 miles left.

Think about something else.

Focus on the finish line.

Oh, that’s a pretty tree!

Let me find that song.

I need to hear that again.

This is easier than watching the kids.

This is easier than watching the kids.

This is easier than watching the kids.

Barefoot? How the hell do you run a marathon barefoot?

I’m on pace!

I can go faster!

Double digits!

Almost halfway.

Almost halfway.

Almost halfway.

I just beat my best half marathon time.

I am totally killing this.

I can definitely do that all over again.

How much farther can I go before I have to stop and pee?

I think I have a blister.

Maybe I should slow down a little.

10 miles left.

If I pass out, will someone stop to help me?

Keep going.

I am getting totally drunk tonight.

Keep going.

Great. I have to take a shit.

There’s a porta-potty.

Of course there’s a line.

I can make it to the next one.

I think I just sharted.

Keep going.

Envision the finish line.

Thank God for the spectators.

Except for that dude standing on his front steps in his pajamas.

Dick.

Is that sweat, or pee?

Porta-potty!

Phew.

I don’t know if I can stand back up.

I should have just shit myself and kept running.

20 miles.

You can do this.

Keep going.

When you are done, you can eat anything.

No, you can eat everything.

There is a 75 year old dude in front of you.

You better pass him.

I think I might die.

Why the fuck did I decide to do this?

I fucking hate running.

I will never, ever do this again.

This blows.

23 miles.

Only a 5 k left.

I think I might make it.

You are a bad ass motherfucker.

Envision the finish.

Bad. Ass. Motherfucker.

If you can do this, you can do anything.

I can’t feel my feet.

Even if I have to crawl, I will cross that fucking finish line.

I see the finish.

Holy shit.

You’re almost there.

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

I did it.

Holy shit.

I fucking did it.

I got one of those foil blankets!

I look like a bad ass.

Where’s my phone? I need to put this on Facebook.

I can’t believe I did it.

Is it too early to register for next year?

I can’t wait to do that again.

 

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