Most of us have been there… driven to the brink of insanity by our children. Our children, who know what the rules are, who know what’s expected of them, who most certainly know right from wrong, but who still seem to make it their mission in life to push us over the edge.
Way over the edge.
I spent many years feeling this way. Feeling like I was constantly having to remind, nag, yell, and totally lose my shit before the kids would do what they were supposed to do. Never having 5 minutes to myself or able to have even a short phone call without being interrupted continuously.
It was maddening!
Why couldn’t they get it? What the hell was wrong with them?
Then one day as I was walking to my daughter’s preschool classroom to pick her up, I saw a message posted for parents on a whiteboard at the end of the hallway:
My first thought was, how the hell is this going to help anything? I spend A LOT of time with my kids, I couldn’t see this having an effect on how well they listened to me.
But at this point, I was willing to give it a shot. So for the next week, I spent 10 minutes of focused time with my daughter.
After just a few days – the change was significant.
Because my daughter was now feeling more noticed and involved she was able and willing to occupy herself without the need to seek my attention by acting out.
By investing just 10 minutes a day, I was getting dividends – not money – but sanity, and my daughter was getting the attention she needed in a more positive way.
This had me intrigued.
The messages were coming from the lessons my daughter was being taught from a certified Positive Discipline teacher in my daughter’s school.
I’m not a super granola, kumbaya kind of mom. If you read my blog, you know that by now. And at first, these messages kind of felt that way.
But I was tired. Tired of the yelling, nagging, being nagged, and feeling like I was in a constant power struggle.
I was not the parent that I envisioned I’d be before I actually had kids, and honestly I was tired of feeling like a bitch all the time.
So I started trying some of the things I read on the message board at the end of the hallway each week, and, well….
My kids, and in particular, my headstrong, determined, and often very frustrating four-year-old, were was doing things I couldn’t get them to do before, no matter how I threatened, punished, or bribed!
They totally worked. I was surprised, and a little annoyed. I mean…
What the hell? Why hadn’t I discovered this earlier???
I also found the methods were not nearly as kumbaya as I originally thought.
Positive Discipline is based on the principle of respect from both the parent and the child. It’s not about being a dictator, or a doormat. With Positive Discipline you will find the balance while being both kind and firm.
As soon as I had the opportunity to take a Positive Discipline parenting class, I jumped on it.
Once again, I was a little skeptical. The women teaching the class were very passionate about these methods, but their children were all adults now. They hadn’t actually tried this stuff out on their own children when they were young.
So could it really work?
The class was life changing.
And the strategies and methods I learned changed the relationship I have with each of my kids for the better.
Sure, they still push buttons and test limits. That’s what kids do!
But my kids are becoming more independent, more responsible, more cooperative, more proactive, more respectful, and a lot less douchey.
And all of this has happened without yelling and threatening . It is also happening without me losing my shit multiple times a day!
Can I get an “Amen?”
Parenting has become less and less about survival and power struggles and more and more about enjoying my kids. THIS is what I want to feel as a parent, I only wish it hadn’t taken me this long to discover this method of parenting.
That’s when I decided to become a certified Positive Discipline Parent Educator.
I don’t want any other moms to waste as much time as I did. Now, I am in a position to be able to help.
Positive Discipline is not about being perfect. It’s not about never messing up. It’s not as “kumbaya” as the name might imply.
It’s about being a more effective parent, stopping the power struggles, setting up routines that work, and getting your kids to do the right thing even when you aren’t in the room.
All without going ballistic on them and while building their self esteem.
If you’re local to Brookfield, Connecticut and would like to attend one of my workshops then check out the event page here >
If you’re part of my online community, I also teach webinars and virtual courses which you can get more information about here >
My courses are based on Jane Nelsen’s Positive Discipline books, and when you enroll, you will learn how to discipline with firmness and kindness, have more fun as a parent, and set the foundation for important social and life skills.
You’ll help your child feel a sense of belonging and significance through mutual respect and encouragement. (And you will lose your shit way less often than you do now.)
I will provide you with the tools and skills necessary to successfully create that home you envisioned before you had kids. You’ll develop strategies that encourage cooperation, communication, accountability, and mutual respect, and your kids will learn self-discipline, responsibility, self-motivation and real world problem solving skills.
There is a better way!
Get ready for your life to change!