I don’t know what it is, whether it’s primarily biological or more environmental, or an equal combination of both, but we women can be pretty good at spending a ridiculous amount of time focusing on all the shit that pisses us off every day.
Between your kid who refuses to listen, and the woman walking her dog who took a huge shit on your lawn (the dog, not the woman) and didn’t even consider picking it up, and the person in front of you who has been driving two miles under the speed limit for the last seven miles who should clearly know that you are running late and need to hurry the fuck up, and the woman talking on her cell phone who believes that everyone within a 75 foot radius needs to hear all the details of her obnoxious conversation, and the inconsiderate doctor who has kept you waiting for 45 minutes, and your computer that is, for some reason, slower than slow today, and the fact that you cleaned the bathroom sink eleven minutes ago and half of it is already covered in stubble, and wanting to strangle the person who put the milk container back in the refrigerator when it was completely empty for the 97th time, and…
well,
sometimes once you are in that groove, it’s hard to get out of it.
How many times have you been stuck in one of these thinking patterns, where all you can say to yourself is, This day sucks. I can’t wait for this day to be over.
Sure some days suck more than others, but rehashing how pissed you are all day long is no fun.
In the moment, it may seem like a productive thing to do.
But I have an alternative way of looking at it for you to consider.
I used to have this therapist, and I’d go into her office and just start bitching.
Or, as I referred to it to make it appear like a really healthy and justifiable thing to do,
venting.
She called it something else.
She called it pumping.
She was right.
Sure, releasing this stuff that pisses you off and letting it totally go is healthy.
But so many of us don’t truly release it.
We talk about it.
And we talk about it some more.
And when one person is tired of listening to us talk about it, we find someone else to talk about it with.
And the more we talk about it,
the more our blood pressure increases.
It’s now not venting at all.
It’s pumping you up into a raging lunatic who can’t think about anything else at all.
This is one of the things I still struggle with.
Focusing on the positive.
I don’t know why it’s so difficult to do.
Back in college I was given the PMA Award on the swim team.
Twice.
Two years in a row I was recognized for my Positive Mental Attitude.
Over the years, things happen.
I get it.
Life can be really fucking hard and unfair, and focusing on that can be an easy thing to do.
But it’s also a really tiring thing to do.
I’m not beating myself up.
All things considered, I feel pretty good about my overall outlook.
But I spent most of yesterday being really pissed.
And it was Number 7’s birthday.
That’s not fair to her.
And it’s not fair to me.
And it’s just not fun.
About a month ago I issued myself a A Real Positivity Challenge.
Every day for a year I would post something positive on Facebook.
I lasted for ten days.
And then I missed a day.
And then another.
And then two days turned into two weeks.
And here I am.
23 days later.
I could say fuck it.
But I don’t want to.
When things don’t go the way I want them to from the moment I wake up,
which is pretty much all the time,
I don’t want to automatically turn the dial and set the tone for my day to complete suckage.
It’s not fun.
Neither is digging a new groove, but I’d much rather invest my energy in digging a new groove than in being pissed off all day long.
So I call a do over.
Let the positivity begin.
Again.
Real Positivity Challenge
Day 1: I could have quit. But I didn’t 😀
Tricia the Good Mama says
Haha, when I saw this title I thought you meant pumping milk for baby. I don’t like that kind of pumping! I would say I’m a fairly positive person. I definitely get annoyed at the little stuff, but I think the key is to let it go and not let it get to you.
Chelsea says
I really needed to read this today! I’m stuck in a cycle of negative thinking right now about absolutely everything in my life. I’m wallowing and I must stop. Thank you.
s says
I do that too.when I get the very rare very few minutes to relax,I end up ‘pumping’.only to get more tired.and then pump about how I can’t ever rest.o you show the mirror,and I need to fix me up.thanks!!
Jodi says
Hang in there. I too promised myself that I would be positive for a year, not on Facebook or anything public, but in my own mind and my own home. I’ve had a number of days that have slipped to “positive purgatory”, but sticking with it for better or worse
Amanda vin zant says
I also expected this to be about pumping milk, which is well, no freakin’ fun, but I was encouraged by the actual positivity of this post. I’m in, but I have my doubts I’ll make it 10 days even, Does it count if we post negative and positive things? lol
Melissa says
You took the words slam out of my mouth!
Foggy Mommy says
I also thought this was going to be about pumping milk (which I hate,) lol! But yeah, I find it hard to maintain a positive attitude all the time, especially since I generally seem to be a pessimist. Since having my son who’s now one, I feel like I’ve turned a corner and am able to see the positives in life all around me. But on the flip side, some days are just really, really difficult and I have to remind myself to keep that good outlook. It’s tough.