Yesterday I wrote about how I signed up for Lose to Win hoping to change my outsides, but what really changed were my insides.
And I really believe that it’s what is on the inside that counts.
How you treat people and your character are much more important than your physical appearance.
That being said…
My first classroom teaching job was a 6th grade position in Pennsylvania.
There were 3 sixth grade teachers.
One was Mrs. F.
One was Mr. S.
And then there was me.
All of the boys wanted Mr. S.
He loved Penn State; he had all sorts of Penn State crap on the walls in his room.
He was the “cool” teacher.
So I had one student placed in my class who was particularly disappointed when he found out that I was his teacher.
Being the new teacher, he knew nothing about me.
He voiced his disappointment to his mother.
Who knew Mr. S, and relayed that information along to him.
So that first day of school came and went.
On the second day of school, before the students arrived, Mr. S came into my room.
He had spoken with my disappointed student’s mom the night before.
Her son had had a change of heart.
Suddenly I wasn’t such a bad teacher to have.
That afternoon after the first day of school, the mom had asked her son how his first day was.
It was awesome.
I mean, I don’t mind that Mr. S isn’t my teacher anymore.
Because my teacher?
She’s a total babe.”
And so my nickname became Babe that first year of teaching.
I haven’t really felt Babe-like in about eight years.
Since back before Number 3 was born.
I have spent the last eight years hiding behind babies.
Number 3 was especially beautiful.
Every time I took him out in public, people would comment on how striking he was.
At the time, I felt really shitty about the way I looked.
But as long as I had him with me, I felt good.
Pushing that kid around, no one seemed to notice how bad I looked.
They only saw how cute my kid was.
So for the past eight years, I have only felt okay going out in public as long as I had one of the kids with me to hide behind.
It hasn’t been a good feeling.
Because along with the 5 million other things I said I would never do when I became a parent, I vowed that I would not let myself go.
I was going to be a MILF.
Things didn’t exactly turn out that way.
Well, until yesterday.
Things are starting to change.
Yesterday someone checked me out.
And he whistled.
It’s been a while since that happened.
Granted, the guy was no Brad Pitt.
And he was in a moving vehicle.
So things may have been a little blurred.
For the first time in 8 years I am feeling good about my outsides again.
I feel confident without the shield of one of my kids in a shopping cart.
I may have more wrinkles than I did that first year of teaching.
And a few more pounds.
But I’m happy to say…
The Babe is back.
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