I got an iPad about a week ago.
I still don’t really know what I’m doing with it.
But I love it.
In fact, I’m kind of wondering how on Earth I survived without it.
A friend of mine gave me an old Leap Pad that her son had outgrown back in October.
I saved it for Christmas and gave it to Number 6.
He loves it.
We were able to get Number 3 a DS with a gift card we got from one of our anonymous guardian angels.
He loves that.
On Christmas morning, after we had opened our presents and before we left to go to my parents’ house, I was sitting in the playroom with the kids.
We were all sitting in our separate spaces.
Staring at different devices.
I felt a little shake.
I think it was Norman Rockwell.
Rolling over in his grave.
I thought to myself,
Whoa. If Norman walked into this house right now looking for something to paint, he’d be pretty disappointed.
But the kids were happy.
Well, I thought they were happy.
I’m not really sure though if they were truly happy.
Maybe they were just quiet.
They weren’t arguing or fighting or crying or screaming.
But they also weren’t smiling or singing or talking or laughing.
They were just blankly staring.
They might have even been drooling.
It wasn’t a picture I would have posted on Facebook.
And isn’t that a measure of whether you are having a good parenting moment?
Whether a picture of it would be Facebookworthy?
Isn’t that the Norman Rockwell standard of the current era?
How many pictures over the past couple weeks did you see on Facebook of parents and their children sitting together, staring catatonically, on the third hour of an iPad and DS marathon?
Probably none.
But I bet you saw lots of pictures of gingerbread houses.
And cookies.
And eye contact.
And smiles.
On Christmas afternoon at my parents’ house, after all the hoopla had died down, my dad was talking to my aunt.
He was telling her about how every year when he was a kid, he and his brothers would get a pad of paper and some pencils for Christmas.
And on Christmas day they would go sit in their rooms by the windows.
They would look out the window to the road.
And they would write down the colors of the cars that drove by with their new pads and their new pencils.
He told that story with a big smile on his face.
It reminded me a picture I took last winter.
Number 5.
It was the first snow storm of the year.
She pulled up a stool to the window.
And she just sat.
She enjoyed the beauty of the snow.
She looked at the individual flakes.
She didn’t know it, but she was having a mindful moment.
I find that my mindful moments are few and far between.
I had a lot of them over Christmas.
But now Christmas is over.
And I feel like I’m already back to this.
We had the best Christmas ever.
Yes, we got some great surprises and gifts.
But we also had many mindful moments, and that, for me, is what made it so special.
Why shouldn’t those continue?
Why limit them to the month of December?
Why only make the effort for mindfulness 8.3% of the year?
So over the past couple days, I’ve really been thinking about the year ahead.
2014 will be the Year of Living Mindfully.
For me.
For my family.
I don’t want to make resolutions.
I want to make habits.
New habits.
Healthy habits.
For all of us.
I don’t necessarily want to do less, but I definitely want to be more.
I want to teach my children to be mindful human beings.
I think that is, after all, one of my biggest responsibilities as a parent.
To set them up for a healthy, mindful adult life.
I want to make sure they see the beauty of lots of things, like the colors of the cars outside the window, and not just the ones on their iPad screens.
I want to teach them not just how to make a meal,
but how to enjoy it.
And I want to re-teach myself.
I want to be the mindful parent I was when Number 3 was born.
I want to relish in the firsts again.
I want to see the beauty of a first bike ride.
Or a first swim of the summer.
I mean, when Number 3 was born, I took a picture of his first crap.
I want to get back to that.
To even appreciating things like the poops.
I want to get back to appreciating bedtime.
I can now sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in about 5.7 seconds.
And I have cut so many words out of bedtime stories that I think I can pretty much tweet them at this point.
There is nothing mindful about our bedtime routine anymore at all.
It can’t be very relaxing for the kids.
It’s time to get back to basics.
Now don’t get me wrong.
I don’t want to eschew technology altogether.
I know I need to embrace it.
And like I said,
I love my new iPad.
But there is a time and place for that.
Just like there is a time and place for a regular old pad.
Of paper.
With no “i”.
Gotta go.
We’ve got some windows that are empty, and some cars that need attention.
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K. says
I have to agree. I did get my son a gameboy for cheap this year, with his Autism, there are limited interests for him. So rather then screaming and fighting, sometimes we need another distraction. However, we went sledding recently, it was so much fun to see the true joy, smiles and laughter without the beep or blink of a screen. I have limited the use of gamesystems, computers etc. in our house, it can be a blessing and a curse at times. Yet, my kids can pretend, and converse with other people PLUS have technological skills, all at the same time,
not your average mom says
I am not anti-gameboy or video games or tv whatsoever…but moderation can be tough. It’s hard not to slip into giving them 5 or 10 or 30 more minutes so you can get just one more thing done…
Joe The Artist (ConnecticutMaine) says
You are really working at being a good mother, good wife, and good person. Keep it up – the journey is worth it.
Kinder-Touch says
If I were to turn back time with only black&white TV and a battery operated radio at home for entertainment, I’d definitely do. It seems like we can’t stop technology these days. Parents are over protective with their children because something bad might happen with the kids considering our environment nowadays. I remember a photo on my Facebook wall a few months ago, a photo of a family who have their own gadgets and an open TV for the baby. Not a healthy environment after all. I admire parents who are able to raise kids without the use of these gadgets at all.
http://it.spinnert.com/kinder-touch/home.html
not your average mom says
Does anyone else see the irony of this comment? 😉