I want to share a little story without giving specific details because in all honesty, the details don’t matter.
These types of situations occur all the time — situations where you have to confront someone about something out of concern.
I was pretty direct in the voicing of my concerns about something today.
I made it clear I wanted something done, and if necessary, I’d take things to the next level.
So I shared this information with Number 5 today.
And she said to me, “Aren’t you afraid to do that?”
And I was like… “Afraid to do what?”
And she said, “Afraid to say something like that to another person? Especially someone who isn’t in our family?”
(Because of course the kids have no problem letting their siblings know when they’ve pissed them off or crossed the line, even if the line is as simple as “looking at me”).
But now I had a bigger concern than the original one!
Because what became very clear is that if something wrong is happening or if Number 5 is in a questionable situation or if someone has done something that totally isn’t cool, Number 5 most likely would not say something for fear of making the other person “feel bad”.
And that is not how I want my kids to go through life.
We had a little talk about how your biggest responsibility is to be true to yourself, and speak up and not worry about how other people are going to receive the news you deliver to them. Obviously you want to communicate clearly and respectfully. But how someone else responds to something has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
And your biggest responsibility is not to other people.
It’s to yourself.
I don’t want any of my kids to live one more second of their lives being afraid of confrontation because they don’t want to make someone else uncomfortable.
I mean, I don’t want them throwing down with people 24/7, but I sure as hell don’t want them to stay in situations that are physically or emotionally unhealthy because they are afraid to speak up.
That shit isn’t cool.
So I guess I have some work to do.