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Sometimes you start doing something with a specific goal in mind, and then you end up going in a totally different direction.
Sometimes you have an idea and you set a goal for yourself and you work your ass off, and then in the process of working your ass off, the idea you had kind of takes a different (but good) direction that you never in your wildest dreams would have thought of.
When I started this blog I had one goal in mind.
To make a living off of it.
I had no idea how I was going to do it, but that was the goal.
I started out as a humor blog.
Between life and Number 4 and more life and more Number 4, I had plenty of content to keep me busy.
And initially my goal was to get onto this (now non-existent) website called Top Mommy Blogs so I would have some more exposure.
Getting onto that site had one prerequisite: you needed to have three months of consistent blog posts.
I didn’t really know what they considered “three months of consistent blog posts” so naturally I did what anyone would do.
I wrote a blog post a day for three months and on exactly the 93rd day of consecutive blog posts I applied to the site.
They accepted me.
And then my goal was to be the top rated humor blog on the site.
Now big time popular bloggers were not on this site. This was kind of for amateurs.
But when you Googled “Mom blogs” this site was the first one that came up.
So I wanted to be at the top of it.
Before too long, mission was accomplished and I was the Number 1 humor blog.
Now writing a blog post a day had become my thing.
I had to keep going.
I couldn’t break the chain.
I wrote a post every day for three years.
There were even a couple times I wrote two a day!
Being in a routine like that helps me.
Cause once I fall off, it’s a quick slide downhill.
Most of us are like that.
Miss one day of something and it’s not that hard to get back onto the wagon.
But once you get to three days in a row of not doing whatever it is you commit to, and now you are in the FUCK IT Danger Zone.
There have been a couple times I’ve fallen into the Blog FIDZ.
I was on a roll in the first two weeks of October. I had vowed to write a post a day.
And then 6 days ago I had an a ha moment.
We very often set these “rules” for ourselves and while they serve us well initially, there comes a time when they aren’t serving us well anymore or they just don’t make sense.
And then sometimes you fall out of love with something you used to be in love with.
You are just ready for the next chapter. The next phase. The next season.
I haven’t fallen out of love with writing blog posts.
And while I never thought of myself as a writer before, I do now.
I really do.
I have a book in me.
And I want to get it out.
But I can’t if I’m still committed to writing a blog post every day.
I’ve discovered I really love helping women reclaim their lives and their health.
And their independence.
And I’ve developed a signature online course and an incredible membership that follows it with the most amazing group of women in it.
I love them so much.
My course and membership have come so far over the last five or six years.
Never in a million years did I think my “mom blog” would turn into a successful digital course and online membership.
You never know where the journey will take you.
But back to those daily blog posts I keep recommitting to…
I can’t build the business I am passionate about and write daily blog posts.
I just can’t.
Not all the time anyway!
Writing daily posts is keeping me from doing the (new) things I really want to be doing and from going in the new directions I want to be going, and you know what that does?
It makes me a little bit resentful.
And I will NOT do that to this blog.
I won’t turn it into something I dread.
Because it has transformed me.
It has not only documented the last 8+ years of my life and preserved memories I’m sure I would have forgotten (and my kids would never have known about), but it has saved my life.
It has helped me grow in ways I never imagined it would.
As a writer.
As a mother.
As a coach.
As a woman.
As a human being.
I have gained so much clarity and perspective and love and compassion and self-awarenes — and friendship!!! — from this space.
I could never abandon it.
But I also can’t keep resetting this goal for myself of writing daily blog posts just because that’s how it all started.
Things were different eight years ago.
I was different eight years ago.
I realize now there is way more out there for me than I realized.
There’s that book I am writing.
Yes. Not the book I want to write.
The book I am writing.
There’s BACE CAMP, my signature digital course.
Signature digital course???
What the heck!?!
I never saw myself as a digital course creator.
But I have always seen myself as a coach and a teacher.
And this blog led me right back to coaching and teaching without even realizing it!
Now instead of teaching fourth graders and coaching swimmers, I’m teaching and coaching women to change their lives and reclaim their power and invest time in themselves.
And I love it.
Writing daily blog posts is preventing me from continuing to build BACE CAMP.
But the blog posts are also what have brought those women to BACE CAMP.
So I’m not abandoning the blog.
But I am changing the rules a little so they make more sense.
There will still be new blog posts coming out.
Just not every day.
Take some time to think about the things you are doing every day.
The things you are committing to.
The rules you are making.
Do they make sense?
Are the routines and rules you’ve established for yourself still serving you?
Do some things that used to bring you joy now bring you more dread and resentment than anything else?
It’s okay! Things change. We change!
It’s okay to take a left turn. It’s okay to shake things up. It’s okay to take the fork on the right instead of the fork on the left.
It’s okay to change your mind.
It’s okay to realize that the original goal you set for yourself was really just a stepping stone to a MOUNTAIN with a much more amazing view.
You don’t have to keep doing the same shit over and over again on that stepping stone if it’s no longer serving you.
Sometimes we get so deeply entrenched in routine we don’t realize that what we needed a couple years ago is much different than what we need (or want) now.
And this is just a reminder for you.
This is one of the good parts of being a grown up.
You get to make the rules!
And if the rules aren’t serving you anymore then the really good thing about being a grown up is…
you also get to change them.