Dear Number 4, 5, and 7,
It is two days before Halloween, and this year, in 2015, you are nine, six, and four years old.
On Saturday, you are dressing up as a cat, a witch, and a princess.
Your costumes are adorable. And you three are so excited.
Your brothers are excited, too, of course.
But there is a reason I am writing this letter only to you.
Halloween is one of my favorite holidays. I love to dress up. I’ve never skipped a year. I’ve worn 45 Halloween costumes. And I’m pretty excited to wear my 46th.
I hope you three still want to dress up for Halloween when you are all grown up.
Cause even when you are an adult, especially when you are an adult, it’s fun to put on a costume and pretend to be somebody or something else.
And it’s fun to be silly.
But here is my hope for you.
I saw a picture of some college girls dressed up for Halloween tonight.
There were six of them in the picture.
And all but one of them were dressed up in the world’s sluttiest costume. There was the world’s sluttiest french maid. A tie for the world’s two sluttiest devils. And then my favorite, the world’s sluttiest Home Goods, um, cashier?
I am totally not shitting you. A chick in a black bra and fuck me heels and a red Home Goods apron.
And that’s it.
What the heck is that?
I have no idea.
There must have been something more to it than that. Some play on words I’m not getting. Probably because I couldn’t get past the fact that this girl was wearing a black bra with an apron over it. And that’s it.
Anyway, back to my hope for you.
In nine, or twelve or fourteen years, you will be entering SCT.
Slutty Costume Territory.
That phase of a girl’s life where, for some reason, she feels the need to dress like a complete whore for Halloween.
Why do we do that?
It’s not for the other girls, that’s for sure.
And yeah, there may be a few guys who give you attention when you are wearing the world’s sluttiest Halloween costume.
But you know what?
You don’t want that attention. You don’t want those guys.
Don’t you be those girls.
You are all confident, and you all have a sense of humor.
You are beautiful and talented and smart and athletic and strong and resourceful and proactive and funny and quirky.
And all that is what makes a woman sexy.
Not a trashy Halloween costume.
That makes you seem, well, desperate.
Like I said before, it’s a ton of fun to dress up for Halloween when you are an adult.
But don’t be those five slutty chicks in the picture.
Be the one that went against the grain.
Pretend to be something you aren’t. But don’t pretend to be the slut.
Be creative. Be goofy. Have fun.
But don’t demean yourself.
And don’t be the slutty girl.
Because you are all way better than that.