Yesterday I was on the elliptical machine at the Y. I was listening to my ipod. The View was on tv. I couldn’t hear the sound, but I was reading the closed captioning. Someone started talking about some study which said that women with daughters live longer than women with sons. Everyone seemed to agree. […]
Archives for March 2013
If you build it, he will NOT come.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t give a crap about St. Patrick’s Day. I don’t make green food, or green drinks, or green crafts. If you want to do your corned beef and cabbage, and Guinness, and whatever else, go for it. But hey… Teachers. Leave my kids alone. Since when did leprechauns […]
Sore? Tired? Out of Breath? Sweaty? Good. It’s working.
Last week I was on the bike at the Y. My ipod was cranked as loud as it could go, so I was pretty oblivious to everything around me. There was a seriously old guy on the bike next to me. He tapped my shoulder, and I took out my headphones. I thought he was […]
All Moms F*ck Up.
In March 2013 in New York a woman killed herself by jumping out of her 8th story apartment window. She had her 10-month-old son strapped to her chest. The baby, miraculously, survived. In fact, he was almost unscathed. Postpartum depression appears to have been the reason. This mom was also completely overcome with guilt because […]
I’m still a virgin.
I’m overwhelmed with shit that needs to be plugged in. And charged. And updated. And synched. And rebooted. And downloaded. Or uploaded. I mean, I’ve had the same phone for almost 2 years now and I still don’t totally know how to use it. Well not the same actual phone… The first one I had was […]
How to achieve the perfect raccoon eye.
On Wednesday afternoon, Number 7 had woken up from her nap, but she was still up in her crib. Everyone was home from school, and I just wanted to empty the dishwasher before I went and got her. At almost 18 months old, she is in the g0-straight-for-the-knives-in-the-dishwasher-when-you-are-trying-to-unload-it phase. But she was kind of crying. So I asked […]