1) I saw Titanic.
2) They ruin other peoples’ vacations.
I went on vacation to Puerto Rico a couple years ago, and I took a trip into Old San Juan. My day was ruined by the world’s largest cruise ship which docked there.
You know when you go to the beach and all of the sudden fifteen busloads of kids pull into the parking lot on a field trip and 300 kids come screaming out of the bus and then they all sit within seven inches of you?
Yeah.
That.
3. I’ve seen the statistics.
Cruise ships flush obscene amounts of poop into the ocean.
4. Fish Extenders
I know…
What the fuck is a fish extender?
Well if you go on a Disney cruise, apparently there’s a little fish next to your door which is used to hold receipts and invitations and stuff.
And now people hang these long, personalized pocket things down from these fish.
Hence the term fish extenders.
And people put stuff in your fish extender as a little surprise each day.
What?
A Secret Santa for people you don’t even know while you are on vacation?When it’s not even Christmas?
A friend of mine asked me if I knew how to sew today.
I asked her why.
She told me she had to make a fish extender.
I replied with the obligatory, What the fuck is a fish extender?
And then she directed me to multiple Pinterest sites devoted specifically to crafting your own personalized fish extenders.
There are hundreds of them.
I suggested she just cut a row off of one of those plastic shoe holders you hang on the inside of the closet door to which she replied, “Plastic? I don’t think so.”
So yeah.
If a vacation involves a Pinterest craft project, well, then I’ll definitely pass.
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Amy says
Good heavens! I’d just be the grouch on the ship that wanted to be left alone.
not your average mom says
You and me both. Maybe we should start a cruise for people who hate cruises 😉
Heather says
Cruising is gross.
‘So, you sat on this big ship, ate 24/7, consumed in everything but the ocean and land around you?’
No thanks.
Momist dot com says
haha I experienced this in Jamaica. I was in Montego Bay and arrived the first day in late afternoon and thought to myself, “this is delightful, nobody around!”. Come 10 AM the next day, my god… So many horribly sunburn white people from random US states it was like a lobster invasion!
Maria says
So funny! Great post/great site. I am constantly made to feel like some kind of curmudgeon because of my complete aversion to cruises. I will also NEVER go on one – EVER – and if you say that people are like “awwwww…..” I even hate the word “cruise” – like – do NOTHING – just “cruise….” (listen to them: “oh but there are so many activities!!!”) Not to mention the Norovirus. No crusing. EVER. I’m so glad that I am not alone in this feeling – lol! 🙂