Number 2 has always been a bit of a germophobe.
It started largely when he was taught about handwashing and germs in preschool.
He will never drink out of the same cup as someone else, and if any of the little ones touch him with any sort of drool, saliva, or other bodily fluids he has a bit of a freak out.
Now he is learning about bacteria and other anxiety inducing microbes in his science class.
So his sensitivity is a bit heightened.
Last night we had pizza for dinner. Number 5 took her piece and started rubbing it all over the stool next to her.
“STOP. THERE’S BACTERIA ON THERE!!!” said Number 2, in a panic.
“Forget the bacteria,” I said. “Big girls don’t rub their dinner on the furniture.”
And then Number 2 continued.
“Did you know that soap only kills 99.9% of germs?
And so that little percent left stays alive and grows more germs?
And then it becomes a super bacteria?
And those can be almost impossible to kill and get you really sick?”
I stopped him before he could continue.
And then you can get an infection, and your arms can fall off, and you can go blind and infect other people and die, and…
I tried to change the subject, but he wasn’t having it.
He kept going, and then he started grilling me.
“Do you use a meat thermometer and cook your meat to 180 degrees?”
I was starting to get annoyed.
“Absolutely not,” I said. “I make sure I leave it sitting out at room temperature for at least 12 hours until it really starts to smell, and then I cook it up and give it to you for dinner.”
He wasn’t done.
“You should get a Food Saver.”
Aye yigh yigh.
“And what about chicken? Do you put the chicken you cook back on the same plate you had the raw chicken on?”
“Okay, okay” I said. “Enough.”
But he couldn’t stop his antibacterial tirade. I was afraid his head might pop off his body and start flying around the room. He just had to get one more fact out. It was reminiscent of this scene from A Christmas Story:
“Because if you put it back on the same plate as the raw chicken you could get chlamydia.”
Maybe we’ll let the science teacher handle this one…
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