Valentine’s Day. Phhht. Whatever.

Top 10 Things I DO NOT  Want to See on Valentine’s Day

1. Chocolate.

chocolate-box-cake-03-600x400

 You know I’m on a mission.

2. “Romantic” table decorations.

I’m married.

romantic table decoration

We all know that shit is for single people.

3. Any lunch box that looks even remotely like this one.

lunchbox

You know how I feel about lunchboxes.

4. “Simple” and “easy” Valentine’s Day wreaths.

Valentines-Wreaths-Collage-2-option-2

A wreath is simple and easy if you get it for free. As a gift. And someone hangs it up for you. And then puts it away on February 15th.

5. Soleil Moon Frye and her annoying crafts and treats on the Today Show.

soleil craft

When the hell did Punky Brewster become Martha Stewart? 

6. The world’s largest heart Rice Krispie treat.

rice krispie

Courtesy of Soleil Moon Stewart.

7. Any other Valentine’s desserts which require baking. valentine-cupcake-ideas

And food coloring. And frosting. And stencils. And craft supplies.

8. A mantel that looks like this.

valentine's mantel

So annoying.

9. Any model sporting wings.

victorias_secret_035

She sucks.

10. This magazine.

2013-Sports-Illustrated-Swimsuit-Issue

She reeeeaaalllly sucks.

Happy Valentine’s Day :)

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Comments

  1. says

    My girls woke up this morning asking for heart shaped pancakes. With food coloring. Tried to convince them they would be just as good tomorrow when I could make them at a more reasonable hour, but they didn’t go for it.

    I indulged them because I figure it means I get a pass for a valentines themed after school snack. Right?

  2. says

    I almost fainted when my husband sent me flowers! I posted a pic on my site to brag though! But I totally get what you mean!

  3. Heather says

    Hi I’m Heather! Please email me when you get a chance, I have a question about your blog! LifesABanquet1(at)gmail.com