Top 10 Things I DO NOT Want to See on Valentine’s Day
2. “Romantic” table decorations.
We all know that shit is for single people.
3. Any lunch box that looks even remotely like this one.
4. “Simple” and “easy” Valentine’s Day wreaths.
A wreath is simple and easy if you get it for free. As a gift. And someone hangs it up for you. And then puts it away on February 15th.
5. Soleil Moon Frye and her annoying crafts and treats on the Today Show.
When the hell did Punky Brewster become Martha Stewart?
6. The world’s largest heart Rice Krispie treat.
Courtesy of Soleil Moon Stewart.
7. Any other Valentine’s desserts which require baking.
And food coloring. And frosting. And stencils. And craft supplies.
8. A mantel that looks like this.
9. Any model sporting wings.
10. This magazine.
She sucks too.
Happy Valentine’s Day