Yesterday I shared that I’m fairly deep into a case of the Blues.
And I just want to thank everyone for sharing your stories and your words of encouragement.
You have all made a difference.
I thought I’d give you an update and also share a little story.
Having been here many times before, and having not taken the warning signs seriously in the past and then ending up in the hospital, I texted my parents yesterday and told them I was struggling badly and that I needed some help.
They were up at the house right away.
Number 5, 6, and 7 all have early dismissal for report card conferences, so having them home at noon every day wasn’t helping matters.
My dad hung out with the kids and my mom cleaned up the kitchen. She drove Number 3 to practice and Number 2 to work, and then she took care of dinner so I didn’t even have to think about it.
While they held down the fort for me, I wrote a blog post and then walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes.
I was wearing my pajama pants and fake Costco UGGS while I did it, but still. I got my but moving.
I came very close to calling in sick to swim practice, but I sucked it up and went. Not having to worry about the kids or what everyone was going to eat made it much easier for me to actually get out the door. And also to take a much needed shower.
Shortly after I got to the pool, I got a message.
If you read yesterday’s post, you know I left my backpack at the pool where the swim team practices on the weekend which is 25 minutes from my house, I had no clue I had even left it there, it had my laptop in it, and I just couldn’t get myself to drive up to the school and get it.
That message I received was from a woman who teaches at the high school in town. I have never met her before, but this is what it said:
I read your blog from today and wondered if your bag could be at the school where my son has swim practice tonight. When I arrived a man came to ask the coach if she knew a Susan Johnson, and put a black backpack/briefcase in the office here. If this is yours, I’d be happy to transport it to the high school tomorrow. I teach there. Let me know, I’m here until 7 and I’m happy to save you the trip.
Oh my GOD!
I texted her back right away, and this morning, I drove five minutes down the road to get my back pack from the high school rather than 25 minutes to the place where I had forgotten it. I know 25 minutes isn’t that bad, but it seemed like a road trip across the country.
I dragged my butt out of the house this morning and got my backpack.
Then I went to Costco and got some food that will help my brain. (Preparing that food is another story. But you know. Baby steps).
I was on a roll!
I had to go to two report card conferences this afternoon. I didn’t shower for them, I looked like crap, and I never took my hat off.
At least I made it to them.
The next challenge will be making it to practice tonight.
It’s rainy and gross out here, and the only thing I want to do is put on pajamas and go to sleep. I have come very close to texting the head coach and telling him I’m not going several times.
But I know if I do that, I’ll feel super guilty which will make me more depressed, and that definitely won’t help me break the cycle. So I may not be the best coach in the world tonight. But I’ll be there. I’ll make it through. That’s the best I can do right now.
So today was definitely a little better than yesterday.
The ball is rolling. It’s rolling slowly, but it’s rolling.
Tomorrow I’ll get up and see if I can keep the forward momentum going.
If you are having a rough time, take it from me…
It’s okay to ask for help!!! It’s okay to let people help you get your feet back underneath you.
The universe will help you out if you let it know you need help.
I am living proof!
I know some of you may be scared to put it out there and let people know what’s really going on. And I know when you do there are plenty of people who may not get it.
But there are also plenty of people who do get it. (Even people who have never even met you before!)
And those are the people who will help you until you find yourself able to stand on your own to feet alone.
And when you get to that point? The point where you don’t need any help anymore?
Then you’ll be the one to give support to another person who needs it. Because you’ve been there, you’ve done that, and you get it.
You are not alone!
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