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Don’t Wait For Your Family To Give You A Mother’s Day Gift

On Mother’s Day,  Facebook is flooded with articles of What Moms Really Want For Mother’s Day.

For most of us, it’s nothing major.  It’s a day where we don’t have to take care of anyone else. Where we can sleep and have some alone time.

An opportunity to recharge.

But for many of us, it’s simply an appreciation for what we do every day.

My friend’s husband wrote this message on her Facebook timeline today:

Happy Mother’s Day to the glue to our family!  The lady that makes it all happen!

Oh, yes. YES, YES, YES!!!

Acknowledgment!

That’s it!

And this isn’t to say that husbands don’t do a lot or that they aren’t an integral part of the family machine.

But boy that would be nice to hear.

Because moms get shit done. And they get it done with efficiency, forethought, and an attention to detail.

 

They perform some seriously impressive logistical gymnastics.

They keep things running smoothly when all hell breaks loose.

If it’s lost, if it’s broken, if it’s due in twelve hours, if it’s impossible, moms find a way to make it happen.

Even when they are sick.

And so, Moms, I’m putting this out there to you.

On this Mother’s Day, don’t wait for your family to give you the perfect gift.

Give it to yourself.

Give yourself the gift of self care.

Because you are the glue.

And when the glue breaks down, then the family falls apart. And then you’re all fucked.

In the long term, take care of your body. Break a sweat every day.

Make time to rest. Get enough sleep. Sleep is the zamboni for your brain.

Invest time in finding a person (or people) you completely trust to spend time with your children. Because there’s no greater stress than feeling like you are the only one who can take care of them.

Find something that makes you happy. Really happy. And then do it. Regularly. Just because you have kids doesn’t mean you don’t get (or need) to have fun anymore.

Ask for help when you need it. We all need help sometimes!

Spend time with your friends.

In the short term, if you like having fresh flowers, don’t wait for someone to get them for you… get them for yourself. Book yourself a massage. Take the damn day off. Schedule a man-pedi. Go to the movies. Book a weekend at a hotel. Whatever gift you’d really like, get it!

You’ve earned it!

Sure, it would be nice if someone did this for us. But that’s not always how it pans out.

This Mother’s Day, don’t wait for your husband or your children or anyone else to do this for you.

Acknowledge and appreciate yourself.

You deserve it.

And just in case no one else has told you today, Happy Mother’s Day to the glue in your family!

 

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5 Things I Want for Mother’s Day

I have been a mother now for ten years.

I have experienced 10 Mother’s Days.

That very first year as a mom I waited in anticipation for that amazing gift. For the perfect day where the world revolved around me.

I soon learned that Mother’s Day isn’t really all that different from every other day.

I stopped expecting gifts or anything out of the ordinary from my family about eight years ago.

I mean, that’s not why I became a mom anyway.

Sure, it would be nice to hear that I’m appreciated.

And there are some Mother’s Day gifts I’d like to receive this year.

But they aren’t gifts I can receive from someone else.

This year, the best Mother’s Day gifts I could ever receive are the ones I’m going to give myself.

1. I’m simplifying and getting organized.

There is too much shit in this house.

If something doesn’t have a place, it’s going.

And for every new thing that comes into the house, something old is going out.

I’m over the chaos.

And I want to teach my kids that things don’t make you happy.

Too many things actually do the opposite.

2. Acceptance

I have wrinkles. And stretch marks. And cellulite.

So does the rest of the world.

I will continue to lead a healthy lifestyle.

If that leads to a smaller muffin top, well that’s a bonus. But it’s not the end goal.

I’m not 21 anymore.

And if given the opportunity, I wouldn’t want to be.

I like the insides of my 45 year old body. It’s time I like the outsides.

I will look at old pictures to take a stroll down memory lane. But not because that is some ridiculous ideal I am striving to attain.

3. Laughter

I’m not bad at finding the humor in things.

But still, I don’t laugh as much as I would like to.

Laughing is fun, and I want to laugh more often.

4. Ending the war.

I engage in “getting to be right wars” fairly often.

There is no purpose to them, even if I am “right.”

They never end well.

So I’m withdrawing from battle.

It’s not going to be easy, but if I can manage to do it, I know lots of different areas of my life will improve.

And that would be a nice gift to give myself.

5. Less comparing and more celebrating.

I still allow myself to feel threatened by other women who possess talents that I don’t.

And I don’t complement them on their achievements or I beat myself up for feeling inadequate.

Why do I do that?

It’s not attractive, it’s not modeling the behavior I’d like to see more of in my kids, and it stops me from being the mom I want to be.

So yeah. I’m done with that.

If I can manage to give myself just one of these gifts, then this may be the best Mother’s Day of them all.

But if my family is reading and is still looking for ideas, a day by the pool with a 6-pack of Blue Moons wouldn’t be so bad either.

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