Posts

A Book Review For Mom’s Like Me — Behind Closed Doors

editor’s note: I wrote this post simply because I appreciate a good book and a recommendation from someone I trust. But this post also contains affiliate links. Meaning if you decide to by this book off of Amazon by clicking on the link in the post, I will receive a (very small) commission. That helps me keep up with costs for this site.

But I got my copy of the book from the public library 🙂

It’s time for another book review!

First, a disclaimer.

I was not an English literature major or anything in college. So don’t be expecting anything professional.

As a busy and exhausted mom who still does not have large amounts of uninterrupted time to read anything, my criteria for a good book are as follows:

1) Degree of Difficulty — I like to read for entertainment. To escape. And I don’t want to have to think too hard. My attention span and level of energy are better than they used to be, but they still kind of suck. So… it needs to be a fairly easy read.

2) Narcolepsy Factor — I need to be able to read more than two paragraphs before I fall asleep.

3) FWOFF (First Week of Facebook Factor) — Obviously, if I find myself not being able to put the book down, and if I want to ignore my kids as much as I did those first few days I discovered Facebook and Pinterest, then that’s good.

4) Vacuum Factor — It can’t take like 100 or 50 or even 25 pages to suck me in. It kind of has to be immediate.

5) PTBD (Post Traumatic Book Disorder) — When I finish the book, I want to be missing the protagonist. Like to the degree of depression I felt when I watched the final episode of Breaking Bad.

6) The Goldilocks Factor — Too much sex, too little sex, or just the right amount of sex. A little bit of a naughty factor is good. But massive amounts of smut don’t really appeal to me.

7) Zoloft Factor — It can’t be depressing.

8)  Do Over Factor (DOF) — I don’t have to go back and reread pages, paragraphs or sentences multiple times because I can’t remember what the hell I just read.

9) Potty potential — If the chapters are short enough for me to read while I’m going to the bathroom, that’s a major bonus, because sometimes that’s the only time I have alone to read.

10)Neat Package Factor —  If the ending sucks, that’s not good. I’m a sucker for a happy ending. Or at least an ending where everything is resolved and wrapped up with a bow and I’m not left wondering why I spent all that time trying to get to the end of the book when I still have no idea how the hell the story finishes.

Now onto the book:  Behind Closed Doors by B. A. Paris.

In a nutshell, this book is about a a couple who appears to have the perfect marriage. It’s like peoples’ Facebook and Instagram posts. But we all know those aren’t a true depiction of reality.

If you like a twisted story, or if you want to be reassured that your marriage isn’t as fucked up as it could be, then this is for you. (I told you this wasn’t a professional review).

Now for the scores:

1) DD (10 = easy read, 1 = whoah, I have to think way too hard to follow this shit): 10 

2) Narcolepsy Factor (10 = I can’t believe I’m still awake, 1 = I’ve been on the first page for four weeks now): 15

3) FWOFF (10 = I haven’t checked on the kids in 90 minutes and I cannot put this book down, 1 = I think I’ll go check Facebook because this book kind of blows): 20

4) Vacuum Factor (10 = I’m sucked in before the end of the first page, 1 = why the fuck am I reading this?): 10

5) Post Traumatic Book Disorder (10 = What will I do without the main character in my life?, 1 = Wait, who was the main character again?): 10

6) Goldilocks Factor ( 10 = just the right amount of naughtiness, 5 = no naughtiness at all, 1 = I should have just watched a porno): 1

7) Zoloft Factor (10 = it’s all good — no drugs necessary, 1 = I think I need a stronger antidepressant): 8

8) DOF (10 = no do overs necessary, 1 = I think I’ve read that sentence seventeen times): 10

9) Potty Potential (10 = I can finish a whole chapter by the time I have to flush, 1 = does this book even have chapters?) 6

10) Neat Package Factor (10 = All situations resolved, 1 = WTF?) 10

Final Score: 100/100

I loved this book. LOVED it.

If   Sleeping With the Enemy and Silence of The Lambs had a baby book, it would be this one.

There was just the right mix of fucked up crap in it, and when I was done reading it, I was left really missing it. (But if you like some serious sex scenes, you’ll be disappointed. Actually, if you like any sex scenes, you’ll be disappointed).

I wasn’t, though. I read it in a weekend. (It’s a great book to read if you are at the beach on vacation.)

Check this one out from the library asap!

(or you can get it on Amazon here):

If you liked this post, then you’ll probably like this shirt, too. Click here to get it.

please take  10 seconds to vote for me!!!!!!!!!

top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner

Number 4’s debut and a new feature on the blog!

A month or so ago I wrote a post declaring that I wanted to start reading again.

Before I had kids I used to read all the time.

Then the kids came, and they kept coming, and I didn’t have the time or the desire or the energy to read anything for a sustained period of time.

But now I do, and I have actually followed through on this and I’ve been reading on a consistent basis.

One day a couple weeks ago Number 4 walked into the living room where I was sitting on the couch reading and she exclaimed, “MOM! YOU’RE READING!!!”

She was so excited. Like, genuinely thrilled to see me reading.

Because the only thing that Number 4 loves more than swimming is reading.

She is a voracious reader. She never travels anywhere without a book.

And she is usually reading at least two or three books at a time.

Back in my teaching days, I was in touch with the books that kids her age were reading because I was reading them right along with them.

But it’s been thirteen years since I was in the classroom.

Number 4 wants to tell me about every single books she’s reading. In extreme detail. I don’t have a whole lot of patience for it.

Especially when I have no idea what she’s talking about since I haven’t read the book.

I was thinking a lot about this recently because I realize it is harder and harder to spend quality, one-on-one time with the kids.

And I thought, I bet Number 4 would really like it if I read some of the books that she’s reading.

It would also be a way for me to be involved with her, even if we aren’t physically doing something together at the same time.

So I asked her to recommend a book. And then I read it.

And then I had another thought…

Since Number 4 loves to read and talk about the books she’s read so much, I asked her if she’d be interested in writing a regular book review for the blog.

I’d be killing a few birds with one stone.

Of course she jumped at the opportunity.

And so, I am pleased to present to you, the first installment of the new feature here at Not Your Average Mom…

The mother/daughter book review!

The first book we read together to review is Out of My Mind by Sharon Draper.

 

outofmymind

Number 4’s review:

Melody Brooks is your average 5th grader, except she can’t walk, talk or even really control her movements! Melody has a disorder called cerebral palsy that affects her body but not her mind. She is the smartest kid in school and no one knows it!

It’s starting to drive her out of her mind.

My favorite part of the book was when Melody proves herself to her teacher and her classmates by doing something nobody thought she was able to do and she finally gets a chance to be more normal and even make friends. I like this part because I love when someone proves to themselves they can do something or does something nobody thinks they can do. This is exactly what happened to Melody.

I can’t even name all the reasons I recommend this book! It’s amazing! Out Of My Mind is heartwarming, sad, and exciting, all at the same time, and you will fall in love with Melody Brooks and her family.

My review:

I had no idea what this book was about when I started reading it, and I was pleasantly surprised!

It’s the first book I’ve ever read that was written from the viewpoint of a differently abled person, and I have to admit, it gave me many opportunities to pause and think about my perceptions and assumptions of people.

There were also some significant plot twists I did not see coming, so it wasn’t completely predictable, even for a book written for middle school students.

I LOVE that it presents a picture to my daughter of how capable and underestimated people can be, and I believe it has helped teach Number 4 (and Number 3 because he read it, too) a couple things about how they treat all of their classmates.

On another note, I love being more in touch with what my daughter is reading and thinking about.

And last night at swim practice, I asked the kids who practice with Number 4 if they had read this book.

Two of the girls immediately yelled, “I LOVE THAT BOOK!” and then we had a quick conversation about what we all loved the most.

Highly recommended by Number 4 and me (and her friends)!

If your fourth, fifth or sixth grader hasn’t read this one yet, encourage them to put it on their list of books to read!

And put it on yours, too! You won’t be disappointed, and there is a message in there, no matter what age you are.

The Get Your Pretty On capsule wardrobe changed my life! Don’t miss out on this opportunity!

Get yours today and take the headache out of getting dressed each day!

gypowinter2016

please take  10 seconds to vote for me 🙂

top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner

 

A Book Review For Moms Like Me — Summer Sisters

I had hopes of making a book review a regular feature last year when we went on vacation, and then my husband had his accident and the book reviewing (and reading) kind of got derailed.

But now that we are doing a vacation do-over, I’m trying it again.

First, a disclaimer.

I was not an English literature major or anything in college. So don’t be expecting anything professional.

As a busy and exhausted mom who still does not have large amounts of uninterrupted time to read anything, my criteria for a good book are as follows:

1) Degree of Difficulty — I like to read for entertainment. To escape. And I don’t want to have to think too hard. My attention span and level of energy are better than they used to be, but they still kind of suck. So… it needs to be a fairly easy read.

2) Narcolepsy Factor — I need to be able to read more than two paragraphs before I fall asleep.

3) FWOFF (First Week of Facebook Factor) — Obviously, if I find myself not being able to put the book down, and if I want to ignore my kids as much as I did those first few days I discovered Facebook and Pinterest, then that’s good.

4) Vacuum Factor — It can’t take like 100 or 50 or even 25 pages to suck me in. It kind of has to be immediate.

5) PTBD (Post Traumatic Book Disorder) — When I finish the book, I want to be missing the protagonist. Like to the degree of depression I felt when I watched the final episode of Breaking Bad.

6) The Goldilocks Factor — Too much sex, too little sex, or just the right amount of sex. A little bit of a naughty factor is good. But massive amounts of smut don’t really appeal to me.

7) Zoloft Factor — It can’t be depressing.

8)  Do Over Factor — I don’t have to go back and reread pages, paragraphs or sentences multiple times because I can’t remember what the hell I just read.

9) Potty potential — If the chapters are short enough for me to read while I’m going to the bathroom, that’s a major bonus, because sometimes that’s the only time I have alone to read.

10)Neat Package Factor —  If the ending sucks, that’s not good. I’m a sucker for a happy ending. Or at least an ending where everything is resolved and wrapped up with a bow and I’m not left wondering why I spent all that time trying to get to the end of the book when I still have no idea how the hell the story finishes.

Now onto this week’s book.

Summer Sisters, by Judy Blume.

First of all, I had no idea Judy Blume even wrote novels for grown ups.

Who didn’t love Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret.

And what about Forever?

My first naughty novel… I loved it!

So if that’s what you think of when you think of Judy Blume, and if you liked reading her books when you were a kid, then Summer Sisters will not disappoint.

It’s not a new book. It came out in 2003. But if you are need of a book to read, this is a good one.

Summer Sisters is the story of two unlikely friends. Two girls who are total opposites who spend every summer together as kids, become very close (like sisters), then have some friendship drama, loose contact, and then reconnect as adults where things really get fucked up. (I told you this wasn’t a professional review).

Now for the scores:

1) DD (10 = easy read, 1 = whoah, I have to think way too hard to follow this shit): 10 

2) Narcolepsy Factor (10 = I can’t believe I’m still awake, 1 = I’ve been on the first page for four weeks now): 10

3) FWOFF (10 = I haven’t checked on the kids in 90 minutes and I cannot put this book down, 1 = I think I’ll go check Facebook because this book kind of blows): 11

4) Vacuum Factor (10 = I’m sucked in before the end of the first page, 1 = why the fuck am I reading this?): 11

5) Post Traumatic Book Disorder (10 = What will I do without the main character in my life?, 1 = Wait, who was the main character again?): 11

6) Goldilocks Factor ( 10 = just the right amount of naughtiness, 5 = no naughtiness at all, 1 = I should have just watched a porno): 11

7) Zoloft Factor (10 = it’s all good — no drugs necessary, 1 = I think I need a stronger antidepressant): 8

8) DOF (10 = no do overs necessary, 1 = I think I’ve read that sentence seventeen times): 10

9) Potty Potential (10 = I can finish a whole chapter by the time I have to flush, 1 = how many pages long is this chapter anyway?) 10

10) Neat Package Factor (10 = All situations resolved, 1 = WTF?) 8

Final Score: 100/100

I loved this book. LOVED it. For me it was like the grown up Forever. Both the main characters were relateable and unforgettable. There was just the right mix of fucked up crap in it, and when I was done reading it, I was left missing the book.

A lot.

And it’s a great book to read if you are at the beach on vacation.

Check this one out from the library asap.

Panda Pop! Your kids will love it!

please take  10 seconds to vote for me!!!!!!!!!

top_mommy_blogs_signature_banner