Yesterday I shared a story about one of my kids being a total douche.
Today I’m going to share a story about one of them being totally awesome.
I got a text from a friend a couple days ago. Her daughter was having a hard time on the bus.
It can be kind of Lord of the Flies on an elementary school bus.
I know because Number 4 has had her fair share of run ins with so called “friends” on the ride to and from school.
She was upset by the way they were treating her, and while she’s no fading flower, it still bothered her.
We talked about how you can’t control what other people do to you and how you can only control your reaction.
So back to my friend’s text.
Some kids on the bus were being douchey to her daughter.
And her daughter sits by herself on the bus and is super shy.
But she’s on the same bus as Number 4. They know each other, but they’re not really close friends.
So yesterday I talked to Number 4 about it.
I told her about how this girl was feeling. About how she’s shy and she feels bad and how kids aren’t being very nice to her.
I asked Number 4 if she would sit with my friend’s daughter on the bus.
She told me they had assigned seats.
That she wouldn’t be allowed to.
That she didn’t think my friend’s daughter wanted her to.
She came up with all sorts of excuses.
I resisted the urge to force her to sit with my friend’s daughter or bribe her.
All I said was, “I just want you to remember how you felt when those girls on the bus weren’t being nice to you.”
And that was the end of the conversation.
This morning I was waiting for the bus with Number 4 and Number 5.
When Number 4’s bus pulled up, Number 5 and I said goodbye to her and watched her climb up the steps.
I saw my friend’s daughter sitting alone, looking out the window.
I waved to her, and I felt really bad.
I should have guilted Number 4 into sitting with her.
I looked back at Number 4, hoping she’d turn around so I could give her the death stare, but she never did.
Because she was talking to the bus driver.
And then she walked toward her seat.
And she passed it.
And I could see through the window that she stopped at my friend’s daughter’s seat. And I could tell she asked my friend’s daughter if she could sit with her, because I saw a huge smile spread across the little girl’s face, and I saw her nodding her head like crazy.
And then I saw Number 4 sit down next to her and then the bus pulled away.
Yes.
YES.
Empathy.
She’s doing something right.
And I guess I am too.
Mandy says
Hi! New to your site after seeing you on Scary Mommy. I just want to say bravo. That made me teary.
Gwyneth says
Ahh this one brought a little tear to my eye. Great job #4!
Lisa says
Me too 🙂
Irene C. says
That’s awesome. My daughter is the shy girl on her bus and my husband and I gave her tactics to talk to other kids, but she gave the same excuses…can’t change seats, we have assigned seats, etc. Finally, she walked onto the bus one day and said to the bus driver, “I am sitting with X.” Then she walked to the back of the bus and sat with her friend. Sometimes they actually listen if you keep on talking to them.
Good job #4.
Stephanie R. says
Wow! Great job to you and number 4! It is moments like these that make all the tough times worth it. 🙂
Ashley says
Proud mommy moment go number 4!!