We finally spoke to the neurosurgeon.
My husband definitely needs surgery. His spinal cord is irreversibly damaged. And there is a lot of pressure on it right now and the pressure needs to be relieved.
He can travel home. The danger is that if he were to get into a car accident or if he were to have a bad fall or something, he’s injured badly enough that something like that could easily paralyze him.
He’s not in traction or anything. He has one of those collars to immobilize his neck. He’ll need to wear that until he gets operated on.
He had the option of having surgery down here in North Carolina.
But he’d need to stay here for two weeks after surgery, and he’d need to do all of his follow up visits with the doctor down here. And he’d be alone.
(That part might be appealing to him right now 😉 )
So after thinking it over, he’s gonna go back to CT.
We’ll have to get him a plane ticket so he’s not driving 14 or 15 or 16 hours in the car when we leave on Saturday.
Then we can talk to some doctors in CT and have his surgery done close to home.
We are adjusting to the news.
He can’t drive for two weeks after surgery.
He can’t pick up anything more than 5 pounds for two months.
And there is a possibility that he will never regain all the feeling in his hands.
It can take six months to fully recover, so we may not know about that for a while.
So my husband won’t be able to work for a couple months. And if his hands don’t recover, he won’t be able to do carpentry anymore.
So that’s a concern.
It’s a lot for him to digest.
And this is another big hit for us.
Literally, and figuratively.
Of course, it’s a much bigger blow for my husband.
But it definitely could have been much worse. I’m trying to remember that.
Someone commented about how they are surprised that I am maintaining any sort of sense of humor during this.
I don’t see how you can’t maintain a sense of humor during these times.
I mean, how the hell do people get through this shit without finding a way to laugh?
I’m not making light of anything.
But if I don’t make a joke, I’ll fucking lose it.
It’s just my way, I guess. It makes things more bearable.
One more thing.
I mention this on Facebook, but wanted to share with those of you who aren’t on there.
I took the kids to the beach today after I got home from the hospital.
Some of them were excited to go.
Number 2 and 3, after what they went through on Tuesday, were hesitant.
In fact, they wouldn’t even go in the water.
Number 3 said he couldn’t boogie board anymore because he was “afraid he was going to die.”
My heart broke.
A couple people who are also here vacationing and who were at the beach on Tuesday when my husband got hurt came and talked to me and my parents. One was the surfer who immobilized my husband’s head while he was on the sand waiting for the ambulance. Another was a nurse who held his hand and helped to keep him calm. They were concerned and wanted to know how my husband was doing.
They weren’t asking to be nosy. They were asking because they really cared.
It’s a very comforting feeling.
Anyway, Number 2 and 3 were not going anywhere near the water. And that was really bothering me.
I did not want what they witnessed on Tuesday to be their last memory of the beach.
So I grabbed a boogie board and went out into the water.
I rode a bunch of waves with Number 4 who is fucking fearless.
And after a couple rides, Number 2 asked if he could use my board when I was done.
And then Number 3 ran up to our umbrella and grabbed a board.
I caught a few good waves, handed my board over to Number 2, and watched him and Number 3 and 4 do some boogie boarding.
They had so much fun. And their fear was gone.
After a few minutes, a dad walked over to Number 2 out in the water. And he extended his arm out to Number 2 and they shook hands.
I don’t know what he said, but I had an idea.
What happened on Tuesday was a nightmare, but it brought many people on the beach together.
And while it’s terrible, in a fucked up way, it has also brought the kids closer together, too.
We’ve got one more day left.
And we’re going to make the best of it.
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