I’m in some serious need of support.


Last night my husband and I went out to eat to celebrate my birthday and our anniversary five days late. (Yes, I got married on my birthday).

And he must have read the post I wrote about what women want for their birthday, because when we got home, there was a gift bag waiting for me on the bed.

I can count on one hand the number of times my husband has gotten me a gift for my birthday.

In fact, I can count on one finger the number of times my husband has gotten me a gift for my birthday.

So this was kind of a big deal for me.

I had no idea what was in the bag, and when I peeked inside, I was pleasantly surprised.

It was a really pretty, white, lacy bra and a matching pair of lacy white underpants.

I was pleasantly surprised by this for three reasons.

First, he got the right sizes.

Secondly, he had to spend some time in the lingerie department of a store.

And finally,  the state of my undergarments is embarrassing.

I have three industrial sized bras.

They are all gray.

But when I got one, one was white, one was pink, and one was black.

My underpants situation isn’t any different.

I have not owned any nice undies since before I had kids.

And you know what?

It feels good to wear a pretty bra and some underpants that aren’t period underpants.

Because pretty much all of my underpants are now period underpants.

So my husband did really, really good.

Now I have a question for you all which is bordering on too much information.

There are two main reasons I don’t own any nice bras.

First, they are so expensive, and I haven’t had the money.

(My husband said to me last night, “I had no idea bras were so expensive! I though they were like $25!” —  Welcome to our hell).

The other reason I have no nice bras is because I went from being a 34B when we got married to a 36DD.

And I cannot for the life of me find any bras that are both attractive (ie. they are pretty and they don’t smash my boobs into some inhuman cone shape)  but also functional (ie. they actually hold my boobs in place) and comfortable (i.e. not digging trenches in my shoulders).

So now that I’ve realized it gives me a pick me up to not be wearing gray industrial strength bras and gray period underpants under my clothing, and now that I have enough money that I can actually  purchase one or two more pretty matching sets of undergarments, I have a question for my well-endowed readers.

Where can I get a pretty bra that holds the girls up without putting me in major agony?

I need your help!

We (the girls, my husband and I) appreciate all the help we can get!


Check out Betsy Boo’s Boutique — SUPER CUTE STUFF —  my favorite  place to shop online!

please take  10 seconds to vote for me!!!!!!!!!


22 replies
  1. Jeannette
    Jeannette says:

    Chantelle is a great brand and once you are sized you can shop for them on sale. Bare Necessities is a good site for scoping for sales. Don’t forget to readjust your straps after each wash to keep the girls where you want them.

  2. Kathy Varda
    Kathy Varda says:

    I have a daughter that size. Victoria secret has really comfortable bras and will fit you. Their sales are great other times really expensive. We went to a Hanes outlet and found really pretty bras on sale for only $20 each. She says they’re really comfortable. Look for a Hanes outlet or their online warehouse store.

  3. Jean Flynn
    Jean Flynn says:

    Go to Neiman Marcus at the Westchester to get fitted and get something nice there. Or you can go to Dorothy Stein in Scarsdale. Or TownShop on Broadway in Manhattan or Bergdorf Goodman on Central Park South. I buy almost everything on BareNecessities.com.

  4. Bekah
    Bekah says:

    I know your undergarment pain well. I recently found a line at Victoria’s Secret that I love. They have pretty bras in large sizes that hold the (large) girls up, but are still comfortable! It’s the Perfect bra in the Dream Angel line. I only got two, because they cost so damn much, but I’m wishing I got more! Good luck on your hunt!

  5. Erica Rendino
    Erica Rendino says:

    I wear a 34G and I can only buy in Soma
    One bra at Soma cost me approximately $60…but worth every penny!!!
    Soma bras support me so well and are so comfortable, I also do not look so busty in them at all, however when I wear any other bra from other stores I do look like I have 4 boobs and I am popping out every where 😳😳🙈

  6. Rhiannon
    Rhiannon says:

    My mom said she just got some new undies at Kohl’s that are WAYYY better than anything by VS. I have yet to verify, but my mom’s opinion is usually gold. Dunno about bras though… That’s a never ending struggle.

  7. Erica
    Erica says:

    I’m also a 36DD. Soma is some of the best mass produced that I’ve found recently. They also do run sales quite often, so get on their email list! Alternately, Wacoal makes very good big bust bras, but I think they are more utilitarian in look, and are often more expensive than Soma on sale.

  8. Diary of a Tipsy Mermaid
    Diary of a Tipsy Mermaid says:

    If you’re a 36 you can shop at Lane Bryant’s lingerie area call Cacique. Cacique bras are extremely comfortable, well made, and are pretty. Often they are buy 2 get 1, or even buy 2 get 2.
    I lost weight and was smaller than a 36 and I still bought my bras there and sewed extenders further in so I could still wear them. (at the time I was a 32H so this is more reasonable if you know that) I swear by Cacique and everyone I’ve ever sent to get bras there is a convert too.
    Good luck!

  9. PacificNWMom
    PacificNWMom says:

    I highly recommend Nordstrom for a fitting. Natori Element bras are awesome. So comfortable! Their bliss bikini is awesome too. I’m a 34G and have found good bras from British brands Freya, Fantasie, and Panache. But yes, good bras are WAY too expensive and hard to find.

  10. elizabeth
    elizabeth says:

    the lilyette minimizer bra changed my life. i found this right after i had my son almost 4 years ago and i buy a black one and nude color one every year. now, most people like to lift their girls up a lot more than i do. i have a smallish frame and kind of large breasts so i love how the minimizer gives my body a more “balanced out” look. BUT my two favorite things about this bra is that a) there is zero pressure on my shoulders. carrying around some DDs is heavy and hard work and b) they are affordable. i seriously dont know when the last time i saw a supportive bra past a C cup that was under $40 and you can order these on amazon for like $20. i wear one every single day even if i have a button up and sweater on, im still rocking my strapless super comfy bra AND they were great for nursing. anywho … i know they are the most flattering bra a girl can have but this bra changed my life so i felt the need to share.

  11. Heidi- Girl to Mom.com
    Heidi- Girl to Mom.com says:

    I’m closer to a D, and this may not be enough support for you for all day, but for very pretty, lacy bras, super sexy in lots of colors, the store called Q in the mall (if you have one near you) has bralettes at about $7.99. Bralettes are all the rage in trendy, there are so pretty, it’s OK for them to show or peek out. It’s encouraged. I like the ones with wide lace shoulder straps and a lacy t back. In L.A., there is Q in the Westside Pavillion mall. They have no underwire, I hate underwire, but a size large gives me really good, super comfy support.

  12. Irene C.
    Irene C. says:

    Soma! It is probably the best fitting bras I ever bought. It is expensive, but it is the only bra that does a good job of holding up the girls!

  13. Deborah Mullet
    Deborah Mullet says:

    I am a 34 FF (no implants, genetics plus 3 kids, plus nursing) so I have tried a lot of things. Don’t shop at Victoria’s Secret. I used to work there, the quality and construction is horrible. Soma is is okay, but the design is not great. Too much weight on the shoulders.

    After working at VS, I can tell you that most women are wearing bras that the bands are too loose and the cup size is too small. If your underwire is digging into you, you need to go up in cup size.

    A quality bra should carry 90% of the weight in the band and only 10% of the weight should be in your shoulders, so avoid anything with a stretchy band. Stretchy band=no support. Once you try a bra with a proper band, it will feel strange, but after wearing it for 2 days, you will be amazed how free your shoulders feel and that you are able to stand up straight.

    I highly recommend figleaves.com. It’s a British company, but they ship to the US and have fabulous service. Check out the videos on their site of how to measure yourself for a bra. They have free returns and exchanges. Some of the best brands they carry for larger girls are Freya, Fantasie, and the figleaves brand. It’s a little extra money to invest in a quality bra, but I have some that are over 6 years old that I still wear all the time. Treat them right and they will treat you right.

    • not your average mom
      not your average mom says:

      Thanks for all the info! I think I’ve bought a bathing suit from Figleaves in the past. I’ll definitely check out the bras!


Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *