Did you ever play that card game “War” when you were a kid?
You know, the game where you and another player are each dealt half the deck, and then one at a time you flip over the cards?
And whoever has the highest card gets both the cards and puts them on the bottom of her pile of cards?
And then when you both flip over the same card, you have a “war”, which means you each lay down three more cards and then flip over a fourth, and whoever has the higher card gets to take all the cards from the war?
You know how you would get down to like two cards, and one of them would be an ace and the other was a lame card like a seven?
Well, that’s pretty much where I’m at right now. You know. In life.
I’m down to two cards.
I’ve got an ace. And maybe a four or five.
I’m still in the game, but it’s going to take me flipping over the right card at the right time in order to survive.
And if I get into a war, well, I’m totally fucked.
I’ve been feeling completely overwhelmed and very much under pressure and more stressed than I have been in years.
We are in dire financial straights right now.
Like unless something major happens, foreclosure proceedings are starting on our house.
It’s not good.
I don’t say this looking for hand outs.
I say this because I know I am not the only person in this situation.
And I don’t just mean I know we are not the only family out there who is in imminent danger of losing our house.
I mean I know I am not the only person out there who feels like they are down to their last two cards in a game of war.
Whatever the situation is, I can relate to the feelings of things looking very bleak.
The feelings where you can easily be overwhelmed by a seemingly insurmountable obstacle or task.
Where there is no way you can come back and win this game of War when you are down to your last two cards.
I’ve been spontaneously crying for the past couple days.
That is a warning sign for me.
It is a warning sign that if I don’t take care of myself, I will not be capable of doing what it is I need to do in order to get some more fucking cards in my hand.
But I have faith. Faith in myself.
Because I know what I need to do.
One, I need to move my ass. If I don’t exercise regularly, especially right now, I am screwed.
I need to exercise to stay focused and to keep my brain clear. I need to exercise to ensure I sleep soundly at night, because right now the stress factor can really keep me awake at night.
And I need to exercise because physically I’ve got to be at the top of my game to have the strength to do what I will need to do in the next couple months.
Exercise has to be a priority.
So I got my ass back on a strict running schedule this week.
The next thing is, I need to stay positive.
This can be tough. It is hard to stay positive when you are overwhelmed.
But most importantly, it is hard to stay positive, it is hard to come back with only two cards in your hand, when you enter into a war.
With only two cards remaining, if you go to war, you lose.
My body and my brain do not have space or energy to be fighting any wars right now.
I have been wasting energy being angry with people and participating in wars.
So yesterday, I swallowed my pride and did my best to mend two war-like relationships.
Clearing that negative energy out of my head has made space for me to think about the things I need to do to get myself out of this situation, and that is exactly what I need.
Because I’m down to an ace and a seven.
But I’m not giving up.
I’m moving, I’m getting stronger, and I’m getting rid of the negative crap using up my energy and occupying valuable real estate in my head.
I fully intend to make a comeback.
And by the end of this October, I’m going to have all fifty-two of those fucking cards in my hand.
You can do it, too.
If I can do it, so can you.
Start moving, extend an olive branch, and let’s make a fucking comeback together.