Teachers have a reputation for being on the straight and narrow.
By the book.
Buttoned down.
Conservative.
I think that may be the case for about 30% of them.
But the other 70%?
Forget about it.
I’m going to fill you in on a little secret.
The majority of teachers are partiers.
Big time.
If you had to deal with 22 couples’ children,
for 7 hours a day,
5 days a week,
well,
you would be too.
I know, because I used to be one.
A partying teacher.
I saw a friend post a picture of a work Christmas party on Facebook yesterday.
I was reminded of my last Christmas party as a teacher.
We used to have a grab bag staff Christmas party.
You know what teachers bring to those things?
The thirty percent bring something tame.
Candles. Books. Picture frames.
But the other 70%?
They bring booze.
Fuzzy dice.
Edible underwear.
And sex toys.
Yes.
Sex toys.
The night of my last staff Christmas party,
I ended up on the dance floor, with a dozen other teachers, at the Georgetown Saloon dancing to Jose Feliciano singing Feliz Navidad.
The real Jose Feliciano. Live and in person. Playing his guitar.
And this was after a bunch of drunken karaoke.
Yep.
Between the entitled children, the lawsuit-threatening, overbearing parents, the ridiculous testing requirements, the Common Core,
between controlling themselves all day, and speaking to 22 children calmly, and without swearing or threatening to dismember them or lock them in the closet,
our teachers like to let loose.
They need to let loose.
So if you are the Room Mom for your kid’s class,
and you are deciding what to buy for the teacher with all that money you’ve collected from the parents,
give that teacher some options.
Because chances are,
if you give your teacher a gift card,
she’ll want some booze,
or a vibrator,
to go with it.
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Brooke says
I will never forget when I was working in first grade and out at a bar after a wedding when the bartender sent me over a shot. I look over and it was two moms from my class. I was half embarrassed and half thrilled. On Monday the daughters came in with gift certificates for me and the teacher I worked with…to that bar! Lol. Cool parents.