Drink, drank, drunk.

If I had a Top 10 list of the

Worst. Days. Ever…

Yesterday would have been on that list.

Fo sho.

But it was really my fault.

I made an amateur strategical move.

My husband was out in his shop working.

And I went out there to ask him a question.

And I left 5 children, 7 years old and under, inside.


The quick question I had for my husband turned into a 5 minute conversation.

I was outside the garage door talking to him, and I could see in the window on the side of the house.

I didn’t see any kids running by the window screaming.

Or crying.

Or on fire.

So I pushed it just a little longer.

And then Number 5 came to the window.

She wasn’t crying.

Or bleeding.

So I kept talking.

Until Number 7 appeared.

With a razor in her hand.

I ran inside. No one was hurt.

I had averted a major razor disaster.

But my bathrooom was not unscathed.

Neither was my bedroom.

Number 6 and 7 had a little cover up extravaganza.

It was everywhere.







I almost lost it.

But I knew it was my own doing.

I took a gamble.

And I lost.

So while I tried to clean that up,  the chain reaction began.

They seized the opportunity.

And the powdered sugar.

powdered sugar

There are parts of my house that may just stay sticky forever.

So when I posted this on the facebook page:

The chances of me being sober tonight have officially gone from



100% nonexistent…

And someone commented with this:

I never drink but always have fun… and a bonus I remember what happened so I can mess with the drunk people…. hahaha….


it kind of pissed me off.

Maybe it was a just an innocent remark.

I wasn’t exactly in the best frame of mind.

But I thought it was more of a judgement.

So I replied with this:

Feel free to come mess with me tonight 🙂

I don’t think she picked up on the sarcasm.

Since she replied with this:

I don’t think you live anywhere near me…

I also know she doesn’t read my blog.

Because later,

when I posted this:

I have about 472 things to cross off my to do list.

2 kids aren’t home.
2 are downstairs watching a movie.
3 are sleeping.

Screw the list.

I’m taking a nap.

She replied with this:

Omg you have 7 kids??? Did not know that. Enjoy your nap 


So, do I think using alcohol to deal with my problems is the smartest or healthiest decision?


Not always.

But yesterday it sure as hell was.

So don’t judge.

Keep your sobering comments to yourself.

Come walk a mile in my shoes.


screw the mile.

I bet all it takes is a couple of steps here in my house to take you from this:


 to this:




All you need to do is click on the banner above to register a vote for me! 

You can vote one time every 24 hours from every computer and cell phone! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!! I really appreciate your support!

Check out and “like” the not-your-average-mom.com facebook page!

Follow me on Twitter @mom_not_average

4 replies
  1. Deanna
    Deanna says:

    I think a lot of people find your FB page thru their friends FB pages and don’t realize (or aren’t tech savvy enough) to realize you have a blog page…which is sad…because although your FB page is chock full of hilarity and “OMG” moments that make 99% of us feel better about the crap that is going on in our own homes with our own children…..your blog is awesome. I’m happy that I found you.

  2. Diane
    Diane says:

    My sister’s reply after she read this, “Dee Dee, this is you! One of you equals her three youngest children! Mom has the same stories about you: flour, Vaseline, powder. You did it all,”. That doesn’t include the High School and college stories that she doesn’t know about. I will share those stories when our #4’s are having a playdate and we are drinking from our special Mommy glasses.

  3. Kat
    Kat says:

    I keep a bottle of Moscato in my fridge for moments just like this. In a pinch, I raid my husband’s fridge downstairs in the family room!


Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *