Yesterday Number 3 destroyed one of my cornstalks.
I have been slightly obsessed with my garden this summer, and I grew those suckers from little seeds. I planted 16 of them, but only 9 actually made it. I’ve never tried to grow corn before, so I thought even with just the nine plants that made it, we’d be eating unlimited ears of delicious, home-grown corn for the rest of the summer.
Then I found out that each stalk produces one or two ears of corn, and that’s it. Apparently they’re not like the tomato plants. So I have worked my ass off to produce enough corn for one meal for my family.
Anyway, I wanted to rip Number 3’s arms off.
“You wouldn’t do that to your teacher, WOULD YOU!?!?!?”
That’s my lame, go-to question every time he pisses me off. I hate when I say that, but I can’t seem to stop it from coming out of my mouth.
So he got sent to his room. Number 4 came into the kitchen.
“Um, Mommy? Do you want any help?”
Number 4 isn’t stupid. She was going to snatch up this rare opportunity to be the one behaving. She was going to cash in on Number 3’s misbehavior…
“Just go play with your sister until lunch is ready.”
The only good thing about one kid getting into trouble, is that it guarantees you a good 15 minutes of everyone else being on their best behavior.
I started emptying the dishwasher. Number 4 tiptoed into the kitchen, slid a piece of paper onto the counter, and tiptoed back out.
That says “60 minute spa, Mom.”
Wow, she’s really working this to her advantage.
After lunch I cashed in on my spa. I got my hair “styled”, had my makeup “done”, got a “full massage”, and finally, a “manicure”.
I guess we can cross aesthetician of her list of future professions.